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Open Poetry #10
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments

0 posted 2000-11-06 10:24 PM


The moments smear
tracing curves of lifeless air
a spray of curled melody
lingers just beyond a fingertip
and I am just a shadow here
weighted heavily
by the pull of leaden tears.

...A mirage of being...

Daylight folds into eve
carelessly melding the contrast
of things concrete
and those only fog
into a shroud around my soul.

....I no longer know what’s real...

The dusk is caught within me
casting sand upon my eyes
as blindly I stumble...
Life is but a weak, drifting mirage
within the confines
of me.
  
< !signature-->

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
                              Helen Keller





[This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 11-06-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2000-11-06 10:26 PM


krista i miss reading you and you are soo good great job here
The Poetic Plumber
Junior Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 38

2 posted 2000-11-06 10:34 PM


I loved the way the words just flowed along.  Great job.  Looking forward to more. Roger


Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
3 posted 2000-11-06 10:47 PM


Beautiful poem! I loved your imagery and flow in this poem. "A spray of curled melody" was a great line, I loved it much. And there are countless times when "I no longer know what is real" is my own thought.. And that last verse was great, I loved it!

Abrahm Simons

"I'm not sick, but I'm not well, and I'm so hot, cause I'm in Hell." - Harvey Danger

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2000-11-06 10:59 PM


This is truly amazing..
"Life is but a weak, drifting mirage
         within the confines
                of me.

-SEA

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2000-11-07 09:21 PM


Thank you all so much, I'm really glad you liked it.  

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Helen Keller


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-11-07 10:24 PM


The moments smear
tracing curves of lifeless air
a spray of curled melody
lingers just beyond a fingertip
and I am just a shadow here
weighted heavily
by the pull of leaden tears.

...A mirage of being...
===============
K, this is so well written..
you have used such unique and detailed
imagery and vocabulary here.
this is an exceptional piece from you..
my goodness sweets..you just out do your self with each new one.
and this gives me yet another one for my K-collection
later-mirage-gator  
jm


jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
7 posted 2000-11-07 10:29 PM


I truly like it all krista, but the last three lines were the perfect ending. Much soul throughout...

jwesley

Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
8 posted 2000-11-07 10:59 PM


wow krissa.. beautiful poem...you never cease to amaze me.  

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today"
~Broadway Musical RENT~

*Cassandra Roseen*


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2000-11-07 11:01 PM


Krista, this is simply beautiful ... such a wonderful blend between reality and the unknown ... excellent writing my friend!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
10 posted 2000-11-08 12:28 PM


Krista, you can write over such a wide range of emotions and you do them all so well...
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2000-11-08 01:29 AM


A wonderfully written poem Krista, fantastic imagery as always   especially loved these lines....

Life is but a weak, drifting mirage
    within the confines
           of me.  

loved reading you again  

Maree

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
12 posted 2000-11-08 10:34 PM


I thank you all so much, your kindness truly means the world to me.  

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Helen Keller


Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
13 posted 2000-11-15 10:24 PM


Great poem Krista.  Love the topic.  easy to apply to life.  

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today"
~Broadway Musical RENT~

*Cassandra Roseen*


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