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rascalx
Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

0 posted 2000-11-06 01:31 PM


As some of you may already know, recently Tara Simms and I broke off our romantic relationship. Since then, she has posted some beautiful poems describing the many feelings and emotions she has gone through in dealing with her heartbreak. Given how many poems her and I have posted about our love for each other, several people have asked me why I haven't posted anything since our break-up. The simple answer is that it hurts too much. I still love her deeply and still consider her my one true soulmate. Frankly, I refuse to "get over" her lol. I envy her the ability to just put her heart out there for the world to see. But this poem basically wrote itself and although my opinions about sharing my innermost feelings still remain the same, in a backwards sort of way, this poem was "fun" to write. The hurt and love still show through the words, but abusing rhyme never felt so good.  ) Enjoy and thanks for tolerating my long but necessary intro. - Jeff
                 ************

     This exercise in futility
     leaves me drowning in humility
     and all my pent up hostility
     is eating me up inside

     Though I'm talking with civility
     I am doubting my ability
     to act with insensibility
     the feelings that I hide

     I've been put at a disability
     lost all respectability
     accused of inscrutability
     in telling the truth, I lied

     So when doubting my reliability
     question your laudability
     because despite my instability
     in loving you, I tried

     Enjoy your renewability
     I'll hope for remissibility
     and maybe one day, reparability
     for the love that was denied

               --------
              (wink) - JEO 2000


© Copyright 2000 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2000-11-06 03:13 PM


Jeff knowing all the feelings that follow the failure of a relationship I will only say you have many more feelings to feel and many more words to write...thanks for sharing and take care...James
rascalx
Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA
2 posted 2000-11-06 04:04 PM


Thanks James. You're right; I do have so many more words inside of me that I have yet to put on paper concerning my feelings for her. Writing about this is a painful process, but I'm getting there  )
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
3 posted 2000-11-06 04:46 PM


jeff,
talking about this took courage and
i do admire you. i don't know you or
tara very well, but i have read some of
the poems you speak of. i hope i am not
overstepping boundaries when i say this
but it is apparent to me, the love that
you guys shared. i wish both of you nothing
but the best and much love for the future.
as for you, sometimes its harder for
some people to openly share what they
are feeling even when surrounded by friends.
take your time and feel whatever you feel.
that is the road to healing. take care
and hugs to you.

amy  

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

4 posted 2000-11-06 05:11 PM


Rascalx, this is a splendid write

"And maybe one day repairability for the love that was denied"... Oh, how this verse just touched my heart

Thank's for sharing
Coco

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
5 posted 2000-11-07 12:22 PM


The hardest part about loving someone is letting them go when you still care...and it hurts like crazy to see them being able to just go right on with their life when you seem to be standing still...or worse yet moving backwards...you need a shoulder or someone to listen...give me a shout
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
6 posted 2000-11-07 07:52 PM


Once, you wrote me sonnets (ok, so they weren't quite sonnets) and now you are "abusing rhyme" LOL, in either case, it's good to see you posting again.  Thank you for the intro, you know my feelings for you haven't changed.  I think that's what makes it so difficult.  Keep writing, Jeff, you have a gift to share.

Take me as I am or watch me as I go

rascalx
Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA
7 posted 2000-11-09 11:08 AM


Amy,
     Thank you for your kind words and support; it's nice to know I am surrounded by people who care. You didn't overstep any boundaries with your observations. Although it makes it difficult to deal with sometimes, it is by far more of a comfort than a hurt to know that her and I still love each other deeply.

Coco,
     I'm glad my words touched you, thanks for the praise.

Paula,
     Thanks, I just might take you up on that shoulder you offered  ). It doesn't hurt so much to know that she is going on with her life. She is a strong and independent woman and it's one of the things I love about her most. It only hurts when I realize that I am not a part of that life anymore.

Tara,

     Next I am going to maim limericks (There once was a girl named Tara... lol) and then serenade you with really bad cheesy love songs. It's good to be writing again; thank you for reminding me that I still have a gift to share and a muse to inspire me.
                         - luv, Jeff


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2000-11-10 03:01 PM


The situation is always hard on the head it seems....you did a great job writing about it here!
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
9 posted 2000-11-10 04:21 PM


Jeff* I loved the way this one flowed! I've
never played with the rhyme like this but I
think I may just Have to try it sometime.  
Writing helps to let out all the feelings
and make room for healing...atleast that's
been my expierence..hope it works the same
for you~

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
10 posted 2000-11-11 02:30 AM


rascalx,
loved the rhythm and rhyme in this piece.
*HuGS*
be well
good to see you writing, even if it's pain.
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

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