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Open Poetry #10
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the creation........................
| Open Poetry #10 |
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the creation........................ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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the creation I saw you looking at the photo I saw the tear in your eye taking into all account what was said the reason why if I could be fey turn back the day look into your eyes again this is what I'd say I saw you there remembering I felt the warmth of your skin you brought me out of this shell you save my life from certain hell if I could be fey turn back the day look into your eyes again this is what I'd say you started a part of my life one that I did not think I would ever breach or even that I would reach the brink if I could be fey turn back again the day look into your eyes just now you would see me, O and how someone you helped create beneath it all, I still relate am I a Ms. Frankenstein? was I that, all the time? is this the me whom you wished to have am I still the one your heart to salve? if I could be fey turn back again the day look into your soul and see am I the one you want of me? I saw you looking at the photo I saw the tear in your eye taking into all account what was said the reason why if I could but once be fey turn back again this day look into your soul then see is this the who you want of me? Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
wow...this could have been written for me. I know this feeling well, to be made to feel alive again, and when that goes, to feel the fear of being dead---again. No answer here, just appreciation. Thanks for sharing these thoughts. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sunshine....this is excellent! Not only is the theme well-written but the way you handle the repetitive lines and phrases is very powerful and adds depth to the work. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Karilea~ Deep and emotionally moving. Very well presented ... and the repetition of thought gave it such dimension. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, I agree with Balladeer it couldn't be said better. *L* |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is interesting..there's a sadness here but also a hope..I like it!  |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
..feel your feelings here...maybe one reason why I chose for people to see the real me, the one with no photo's, my soul, myself. Grand job. Marcy |
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cathybohannan Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 140Paintsville,KY |
Superb poem there Sunshine, I really enjoyed reading it. Cathy Marie Bohannan |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very nice indeed... You just seem to shine in any poetic arena, my friend..  |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
the creation of who we are. . . of what we are. . . but by who? wonderful my friend. . .  -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Serenity, you are ever welcome...to know we are not alone gives us all hope... 'Deer...power...depth...wow... Marge, emotion becomes a power that overtakes us all at one time or another... Sy, you stand with excellent company...thank you... Sharon, even if a flicker, all poems should contain that spark of hope... Marcy, no other way...truly... cathymarie...so glad you are here in the family...thank you for your kind comment... Nan, with everyone's welcome attitude, honest critiques and inspiration, how could anyone NOT shine here?... Sven, there should only be one answer to that, but unfortunately, it is not always so... thank you all... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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