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Wilfred Yeats
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since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

0 posted 2000-11-05 03:19 PM


I wrote this last spring on a challenge
If you like villanelle - you might li.ke this too

Sunrise Reflections - Terzanelle

Sunrise earlier with advent of spring
After six color shows on horizon
And as it was set the alarm did ring

Stark black against the oncoming dawn
New life not yet apparent in the trees
After six color shows on horizon

Their spidery webs leaves they wait to don
Wisps of cloud jagged rips in pale turquoise
New life not yet apparent in the trees

By marshland pools young fishing boys
Reflecting pale pink from yet unseen sun
Wisps of cloud jagged rips in pale turquoise

Mirroring the new day snapped with flash-gun
A goose vee added to the reflection
Reflecting pale pink from yet unseen sun
After six color shows on horizon



[This message has been edited by Wilfred Yeats (edited 11-05-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved
Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

1 posted 2000-11-05 03:24 PM


lovely billy..i must of wrote mine at the same time you wrote yours..i only wrote one.. enjoyed..

              ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
2 posted 2000-11-05 03:29 PM


This is the only one I wrote too   - thanks Victoria
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-11-05 04:42 PM


Wil these are fantastic...truly.
I just read your villanelle ... and then this
and compared the structure and rhyme schemes
superb poetry from you sir...
and you show your poets talent and capabilies well.
thanks for the lessons in poetry today...
the imagery on both this and the villanelle is excellent.
later-teach-me-new-poetry-gator  
jm

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-11-05 04:50 PM


Wilfred~
Very nicely done.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2000-11-05 04:54 PM


the imagery is wonderful...wonderful...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ



Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-11-05 05:25 PM


Very beautiful, my friend!
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
7 posted 2000-11-05 06:28 PM


to one and all here too - I goofed in the other drection on this - one verse short (double blush)
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
8 posted 2000-11-05 06:55 PM


No need to blush, my friend... expanded or truncated, your work is still great..
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2000-11-05 06:58 PM


Very beautiful visions
Excellent!
(Now I've got to look up"terzenelle")
Liz

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
10 posted 2000-11-06 09:57 AM


Nan- Liz - and everyone -
Thank you all for your kind responses - I'm my own worst critic I guess- I will attempt these forms again and try to do it 'correctly' this time.
and Liz- if you can't fine Terznelle elsewhere try  http://woods.bianca.com/shacklet/the_biki/repeat.html

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