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Corazon
Senior Member

since 2000-02-02

Posts 1209

0 posted 2000-09-23 01:17 PM

since you left [stop]

am doing fine [stop]

finally stopped caring [stop]

not sure when [stop]

doesn't matter [stop]

I guess [stop]

all is fine now [stop]

doesn't hurt at all [stop]

or should I say anymore [stop]

(than before)[stop]

only one problem now [stop]

need a plumber [stop]

ASAP[stop]

sprung a leak [stop]

in my eyes [stop]

can't make it [stop]

[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 09-23-2000).]

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2000-09-23 01:24 PM

Corazon~
What a clever idea.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

2 posted 2000-09-23 02:59 PM

Very clever idea and such thoroughnessin pulling it through. Wonderful penning from you.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2000-09-23 10:18 PM

If this was in response to Mr. Bohannan's challenge for imagery, I say you did just fine...and if this was a clue as to your imagination alone, I would say, excellent!

Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 2000-09-23 10:25 PM

Corazon, sounds like an ... --- ... to me. Excellent, as always, my friend

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2000-09-23 10:31 PM

Creative...James

ggrn3
Member

since 2000-08-17

Posts 433
Nahunta Georgia U.S.

6 posted 2000-09-24 12:22 PM

Corazon
  Great idea.(stop)
But really, this was very unique and I liked the imagery included within.  I especially liked the last 5 lines.  The last "stop" just put this excellent poem over the top.
  "Need a plumber(stop)"
  "ASAP(stop)"
  "Sprung a leak(stop)"
  "in my eyes(stop)"
  "can't make it(stop)"

Garfield

Jenn E
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada

7 posted 2000-09-24 01:40 AM

Very uniquely creative..........I hope that is good english....lol.....just in case it's not..... VERY GOOD!

Jenn E

Corazon
Senior Member

since 2000-02-02

Posts 1209

8 posted 2000-09-25 09:16 AM

thank you all so much, and guess i will have to hang on to the creative tag, cause i didn't even know there was a visual challenge, I just don't have enough time to be here anymore

but thanks again

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

9 posted 2000-09-25 09:36 AM

Hello Corazon,
Your presentation is very fitting. The clipped tone suits your message perfectly.

Enjoyed!

...chanson~

Music, tonal clear & pure,
Caresses the harshest of curves.
-Song of Gesture

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

10 posted 2000-09-26 12:23 PM

Great idea, Corazon. I especially like the way all the lines rhyme. That's not always easy, yanno! Terrific idea, this poem.

minstrel
Junior Member

since 2000-07-27

Posts 21
Bowling Green, KY

11 posted 2000-09-26 12:41 PM

Very unique and creative. Nice work.

minstrel

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