Open Poetry #10 |
Confession______PDV's challenge |
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Today I stand before you A half broken beaten man Begging your forgiveness My heart here in my hands I never knew just what I had Til I let it slip away To have you back here in my arms Is what I wish for every day If you could find it in your heart To forgive my foolish ways I'd never leave your side again Until my dying day You'd never doubt the way I feel I've swallowed all my pride I'd give the very breath I breathe To be standin by your side |
||
© Copyright 2000 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
reads like a sad beautiful country song Paula. perfect rhyme and flow excellent reply to the challenge... this one could go either way... this kind of pain is universal... dont we all know... later-gender-bender-gator |
||
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
A heartrending plea...very good Paula!! |
||
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Definitely has the makings of a sad country song in it. Penned wonderfully. |
||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Paula, great manfully spoken poem. Seems everyone is rising to the occasion.Excellent. Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
||
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Don't you just love it when a man pleads? Only kidding (never had that experience) But if I had, this is exactly what I would want him to think and say Challenge well met Liz |
||
Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Paula* This is excellent...I can hear it all and it leaves me with two possible endings...If you want him back there is the embrace and the "reunion" ...if you don't... well they say never kick a man while he's down buuuuut ........wow...to much coffee already Great writing!! |
||
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Jm...thanks...no music in me for this one PdV...thanks glad you enjoyed it Mark...thanks cowboy Kethry...lol dont know about manly...thanks Elizabeth...lol it would be nice to hear Holly...LOL girl maybe you should switch to decaf...I am of two minds on this...and they are both still out Don't close your eyes to the possibilities |
||
Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
you did good Ma'am - real good - ~G~ (seriously - you did!) |
||
CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Paula, you rose to the challenge once'again' by this splendid write PoetFriend... To be honest though, I dunno what I'd do if someone I have loved would do as you have written and pleads a return to my heart.... guess it depends on circumstances hmm I need another cafe you got me thinking this morning! Smilez2U Coco |
||
inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I'd make him sign it in blood (his blood) then might let him back, then again might not. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |