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Open Poetry #10
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Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri

0 posted 2000-11-04 03:19 AM


Today I stand before you
A half broken beaten man
Begging your forgiveness
My heart here in my hands

I never knew just what I had
Til I let it slip away
To have you back here in my arms
Is what I wish for every day

If you could find it in your heart
To forgive my foolish ways
I'd never leave your side again
Until my dying day

You'd never doubt the way I feel
I've swallowed all my pride
I'd give the very breath I breathe
To be standin by your side


© Copyright 2000 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-11-04 03:23 AM


reads like a sad beautiful country song Paula.
perfect rhyme and flow
excellent reply to the challenge...
this one could go either way...
this kind of pain is universal...
dont we all know...
later-gender-bender-gator  

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-11-04 04:01 AM


A heartrending plea...very good Paula!!  
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
3 posted 2000-11-04 04:24 AM


Definitely has the makings of a sad country song in it.  Penned wonderfully.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
4 posted 2000-11-04 06:44 AM


Paula, great manfully spoken poem. Seems everyone is rising to the occasion.Excellent.
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2000-11-04 06:47 AM


Don't you just love it when a man pleads?
Only kidding (never had that experience)
But if I had, this is exactly what I would want him to think and say
Challenge well met
Liz

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-11-04 06:54 AM


Paula* This is excellent...I can hear it all
and it leaves me with two possible
endings...If you want him back there is the
embrace and the "reunion"  ...if you
don't... well they say never kick a man
while he's down buuuuut  ........wow...to
much coffee already   Great writing!!


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2000-11-07 12:59 PM


Jm...thanks...no music in me for this one

PdV...thanks glad you enjoyed it

Mark...thanks cowboy

Kethry...lol dont know about manly...thanks

Elizabeth...lol it would be nice to hear

Holly...LOL girl maybe you should switch to decaf...I am of two minds on this...and they are both still out


Don't close your eyes to the possibilities


Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
8 posted 2000-11-07 12:52 PM


you did good Ma'am - real good - ~G~ (seriously - you did!)
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

9 posted 2000-11-07 12:59 PM


Paula, you rose to the challenge once'again' by this splendid write PoetFriend...

To be honest though, I dunno what I'd do if someone I have loved would do as you have written and pleads a return to my heart.... guess it depends on circumstances hmm I need another cafe you got me thinking this morning!

Smilez2U
Coco

inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
10 posted 2000-11-07 04:32 PM


I'd make him sign it in blood (his blood) then might let him back, then again might not.  
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