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Open Poetry #10
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Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

0 posted 2000-11-03 04:27 PM


The piercing echoes
of chainsaw screams
act as an accelerant
upon already searing pain
inflamed energy redoubles
efforts already frenetic
changing grunts into growls
resentment becoming anger
which ignites the fire of fury
furthering the attack against
the frozen barrier  underfoot
icy splinters cut stinging flesh
while covering  twisted demeaner

  still - eyes clear of madness
  yet infected with it's  desire
  look with cloudy desolation
  through the  frozen winter foe
  to the river that flows below



< !signature-->


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".  



[This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 11-03-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2000-11-03 04:30 PM


Jamie
WOW, Tres magnifique.
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2000-11-03 04:39 PM


This is full of power, Jamie......it's truly awesome in describing such a force. You always capture Mother Nature's work in detail, which shows me that you are one with the out-of-doors.  


Follow your dream!


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2000-11-03 05:05 PM


And the river flows on...what vivid contrasts...strong writing!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2000-11-03 06:01 PM


Jamie, terrific images penned my friend  
Excellent writing!

Maree    

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-11-03 07:02 PM


My goodness! Makes me want to hide indoors away from that cold frozen place! Excellent poem sir!  
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
6 posted 2000-11-03 08:32 PM


Very powerful and intriguing!  I enjoyed it very much!


peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
7 posted 2000-11-03 08:34 PM


Awesome!!!

Pepper
"I honor the place in you, that when you are in that place, and I am in that place in me, we are in the same place"
Ram Dass

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
8 posted 2000-11-03 09:45 PM


Kethry; SunnyOne; Margie; Maree; Sharon; Rosemary; and Peppermint--- Thanks to each of you for the nice responses to this. It is a metaphor of someones struggle  to regain the cliched Rivers of dreams, life et al. from the also cliche' frozen wasteland of loneliness and the near madness it can bring about. Again, thanks for reading.


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2000-11-03 09:59 PM


Yes, and when one can cut through the ice, the river is still flowing and will always be....this is very powerful, jamie.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-11-03 09:59 PM


Prometheus~
This was a very powerful write ...
seems to go to the depths of a soul
that is searching for what he knows is there ...
but he can't seem to get there from where he is.

When the heart feels isolation -
it can be a desperate place to dwell.

Very poignant feelings here.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
11 posted 2000-11-03 11:10 PM


Balladeer/Marge-- Thanks you two. It is good to hear such words talents such as yourselves.


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

12 posted 2000-11-03 11:24 PM


It seems as though some one fell through the ice and is clawing his way back to safety/shore...powerful image.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox


dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
13 posted 2000-11-03 11:30 PM


jamie...WOW!  very powerful...  

hugs, dg


"i could hide out under there...i just made you say 'underwear'...i could leave but i'll just stay--all my stuff's here anyway..."

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
14 posted 2000-11-04 10:29 PM


Ron--dg..... Thanks for thinking so, and for taking the time to say it.


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

15 posted 2000-11-04 11:38 PM


READ!

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
16 posted 2000-11-04 11:45 PM


Very Nice!!!


Todd-Michael Phillips...A Passion's Resident Poet since 5/19/1999

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
17 posted 2000-11-05 12:47 PM


Jamie - you're getting good at this!  

C

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
18 posted 2000-11-05 07:35 PM


Insect, Todd and Christopher-- Your kindness encourages me in ways you may not know. Thanks to each of you.
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
19 posted 2000-11-06 09:43 AM


jamie

energetic piece indeed! i think i might have had difficulty in picking up the metaphor you had in mind without your explanation - but nevertheless there was meaning there for me in any case.

thanks

philip

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

20 posted 2000-11-07 07:36 AM


J

ah the contrasts

frozen against fire hey?

And then that's reinforced by the standard writing against the italics...

(are you posting in CA...???)

I like it my friend...

K

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

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