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The Man I Am (the challenge)
| Open Poetry #10 |
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The Man I Am (the challenge) |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
The Man I Am The man I was would always wipe away your soulful tears I would help you through the door and soothe your nightmare fears The man I was would know that you loved him without question or qualm I would be your rock, your harbor, keeping you safe from harm The man I am now cannot see tears in your stormy eyes I cannot ease your fear because it’s clouded behind your lies The man I am now is left alone in a darkness of silent accusations forced to stand in aside and watch your feminine machinations Where did the man I was go to? Is he hiding inside my heart? The man I am became so bitter. When did this coldness start? |
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| © Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Poet deVine - so very touching, and it did touch me. Just something about this writing that struck me, maybe the sorrow, or perhaps maybe the truth. Bill |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
A great write PDV... The last two verses just clawed at my heart  Coco |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
PdV, Haunting words and images. Powerful piece. You have done well with the challenge. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this is an honest sincere reponse to the challenge...a perspective we dont think about a cool view PDV... I went to the challenge forum just now to check this out... (made me smile and think of Brian Madden... he used to always try to get me to write from the male perspective..) I will give this one a try... me muse NEEDS to get off her poetic butt  I'll have to make sure Bri sees this challenge this weekend.. he will do it justice... great idea ...should bring some very interesting poetry...from both sides... later-moderator-gator jm |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent deVine. . . something to think about. . . Well done. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
excellent...we can now see ourselves, as ourselves through the eyes of some one else. does that make sense? Well I see it very clear...good job,,,notice how we men are always portrayed,,,makes you want to think your actions, eh guys? Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I felt my sympathies change with every line of this one...much to think about...yer always making me think!!! loved it. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Man, you're good!!! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Woman, you are too good. Now do you need to get in touch with your fenimin side *smiles* Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Uhh--- did you have a sex change operation before you did this?... that is pretty drastic just for a challenge... Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
PdV~ I just keep thinking, what inspired this? It's full of pain and I think a bit of fear.......it really is fantastic!! -SEA |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
ps..... i changed my mind, don't think i will do one of these....(yep..chicken) Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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jonmcm Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 222England |
Poet deVine this is very brave stuff to put out!, I hope you get some answers to your questions. Jon |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
excellent write....it touched my heart, superb as always. ((hugs)) Charisma |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all for your kind comments. Jamie? Chicken? YOU!!! Such a big brave fireman/rescue person!! Ok..here's a tip. Find something soft and warm and cuddly to wrap up in..then sit by the fire sipping a cup of hot chocolate. Watch a 'chick flick'.. let the tears flow...then write a poem!!! LOL Sometimes, the honesty is too much. I understand. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh I love this!! he man I am now is left alone in a darkness of silent accusations forced to stand in aside and watch your feminine machinations Great poem Sharon Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I read this last night - thought I'd replied - but didn't - so I'll tell you your write inspired 'She Remembers' - the causes may not be identical - but for me there are similarities - whatever the reasons - it is sad when love dies |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
To the person that might be the person whom is reading this...YES...so right....this is how it is....and then again, sometimes, not...for that is the way of man, and woman... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
As a man I always try to stay in touch with my feelings but I know us guys can be aloof and put on a show of bravo though there is the danger of losing touch with our emotions. PDV excellent poem, I know it is not easy being a woman in a "man's world" (sorry for the cliche) but being a man in man's world has its own challenges as well. Maybe we should scrap this man's world mentality and have a UNI-SEX world "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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