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Open Poetry #10
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One woman's life(Poet Devine's challange)
| Open Poetry #10 |
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One woman's life(Poet Devine's challange) |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
Poet devine asked to take the view of the opposite sex...well if we all have been reading the forums...the gals have pretty much given us all the info...if you were listening...so here's my interp...of a woman treated wrong Here I am, another lonely night Wondering where you are While I’m scrubbing greasy pans You’re in some smoke filled bar And I’ll go to bed alone Before you come slinking in And I’ll feel you easing in beside me Smelling of your sin In the morning I’ll pour your coffee While the paper hides your face And if I try share my feelings You say you’re running late Can’t remember the last time I had a goodbye kiss Or even one to say hello I only see the blur of a man Who’s here to come and go A breakdown is on its way As I walk this lonely wire At night the wall between us In our bed is building higher I can’t remember your touch anymore I only have a faint memory of a kiss So as I scrub the kitchen floor I realize it can’t get worse than this. So if you come home late one night Your sink filled with dirty pans You’ll need to sleep in your bed alone I’ve found another man. < !signature--> Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox [This message has been edited by Ron K. Fox (edited 11-02-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ronald Kenneth Fox - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
You did well at taking the point of view of a woman. This was painful to read, I could feel the hurt. Challenge well met, Ron. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
I love this, Ron! YOu've definitely been paying attention. Take me as I am or watch me as I go |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
you have been spying on us haa...you stinker you ha...  ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Hey!!! Good job Ron! I liked it!!! |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Good job indeed, Ron!!! And, I must say....I liked the ending  Pepper "I honor the place in you, that when you are in that place, and I am in that place in me, we are in the same place" Ram Dass |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Ron - how true you write. How many times does this happen? Many, I'm sure. Well done. Bill |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
RON, I must say you have done a good job interpretating a scenario based on DeVine's challenge... Enjoyed the read my friend  Coco |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
yes...you have been reading and paying attention... poetry is a window of our emotions... and a poets hearts reflection... if we read and learn from each other we can learn how to treat one another... youve penned another counrty ballad in this challenge response... sincere writing great job... will go check this out in Challenge forums jm |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Ron, a womanly response to a difficult challenge, it's obvious you've been paying attention. Be well Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Good job Ron!! I think you're pretty close here with this one..at laest within breathing distance yeah you reached them....I liked it very much!! |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
hey you have seen the point...you really take some attenttion, and describe it well....well done. Charisma |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
RonK~ 100% right....fantastic! You nailed the ending too! Excellent. -SEA |
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