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Open Poetry #10
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One
| Open Poetry #10 |
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One |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
One dark night One car collides into another One holds a slumped body One holds a slouched body One is pulled out by emergency workers One is pulled out by the police One has an oxygen mask slipped on One has handcuffs slipped on One is rushed towards the flashing lights of an ambulance One is rushed towards the flashing lights of a police vehicle One has a breath weak and shallow One has breath that reeks of alcohol One gasps and says “What is happening?’ One sighs and says, “What have I done? One feels his world spin into blackness and passes out One feels his world spin into blackness and passes away One dark night One lives One dies Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ronald Kenneth Fox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
This is simply amazing Ron....it really tells it like it is.....how horrible the consequences of drinking and driving....it gripped me!!! Pepper "I honor the place in you, that when you are in that place, and I am in that place in me, we are in the same place" Ram Dass |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like the concept and the message...James |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Unique way of expressing something we all wish would go away, but never will...drunks. jwesley |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
i found my heart racing as i read this Ron....stopping to take a deep breath.. nicely written.. ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Serious message, and well portrayed. It pulled me right in. Sandra |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Your words and images it portrays are very riviting. You've captured it well. |
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compassion Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135USA |
Ron, Can not sound this message enough and it is good therapy to write what's on your mind, (if this applies to a family member or friend). You'll see how far you've come emotionally, within the words penned. Nice job penning "One". Good title. Connie |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Very well done, Ron. Hits home especially this week, as a young girl I know was in a fatal car accident a few days ago. Definitely a message we should all read. Great write. sp  Do not go where the path may lead, but instead, go where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Ron* This was written in a way that digs deeply into the readers heart...writing from both sides and bringing them together to feel the pain...a loud and clear message written with grace~ |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Ron, you have weaved a poem soooooo deep it thrusts into this reader's mind N heart... Honestly, an EXCELLENT write for I have been there and witnessed just what you write... Coco |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Great write! My mother was killed by a drunk driver. If only there was a way to get them off our roads. Take me as I am or watch me as I go |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
i do feel this...my brother was killed on his motorcycle by a truck driver on a late night home from work...the debate over whether the driver was drunk was never settled...though some witness'es believe so...but the fact remains...one walked away...one never had a chance...and that one will also have to live with it...maybe that's his punishment. That was 7 years ago Oct1...so this time of year hits hard, with the holidays coming.so, thanks everyone for responding, and hopefully, this will be heeded by some. Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
VERY well expressed ! I hope more read it |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Some lessons come at such a dear price...I'm so sorry for your loss and understand how October hurts. Well written poem! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Ron we have an organization in Canada that is becoming quite powerful in some areas of the country...called MAAD (Mothers against drunk driving) I don't know whether it's an active organization in the States. It's so sad to read poems like this and I can't help but think that this education has to begin right at home. Wonderful job of getting your point across in this work.....take care.....ethome |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
That should have been..MADD |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Power Packed Poem. Melton |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
This is a bullet of truth......on target. Well written Jon |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
yowzas this was good and inventive |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Ron this is a wonderful and powerful message. Too many times these senseless tragedies happen and they can be prevented. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. Juls [This message has been edited by juliet_2u (edited 11-03-2000).] |
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Rainydays Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324 |
A powerful, somber piece of writing, Ron. Good work here. Rainydays |
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