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Open Poetry #10
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2000-10-28 12:23 PM



All around me
falls silent,
the gulls
fly by not speaking
magpies stop crying and
the cat's muffled his miaow

even the ocean
lies dormant,
closing its eyes
to the still of the day,
I notice the trees and
shrubs are alive
but don't seem to be
growing in this state
of quietness

imagine that?

these walls lean
over me as the
absence of sound
captures the pride
of the evening sun
she blushes the
cheeks of my loved
ones happily smiling
at me from their frames

of course, I smile back


I turn my eyes toward
the mountains as the day
rests behind them,
funnily enough, in this
muted interval of time
they speak to me with
perfection,
they are
audible with the curve
of their beauty

Yes, all around me
in uninterrupted silence
I hear only them


Angel of Darkness
October 2000


© Copyright 2000 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
1 posted 2000-10-28 12:33 PM


of course I smile back

What a wonderful observation this is. It is just a great vision,, I would love to see this snapshot.......the poem turned out to be a masterpiece Maree!!!! i love it.





Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-10-28 12:33 PM


Maree this is absolutely beautiful!  
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
3 posted 2000-10-28 12:41 PM


Yes I must agree Maree, beautiful.

Parker

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
4 posted 2000-10-28 12:57 PM


Beautiful indeed!!!  Lovely, lovely read

Peppermint
Life is a Wheel

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
5 posted 2000-10-28 01:07 AM


Maree this is just such a beautiful read..very tender, well done  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Mick Hawkes
Member
since 2000-10-26
Posts 90
Tees-side , England
6 posted 2000-10-28 01:49 AM


Great... enjoyed it alot..thanks

A smile a day helps you work , rest & play.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2000-10-28 05:55 AM


Jamie, thanks so much my friend for lovely reply and for your input and help toward this poem  

Sharon thanks so much hon  

James, thank you my friend  

Peppermint, thank you for stopping by and reading  

Tracie, thanks hon  

Hi Mick, Thank you so much  




"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2000-10-28 06:33 AM


Glad you changed the cat line hon ~giggle~

...seriously - I have to agree with Jamie.
This is very very good Maree.

Well done.

K

"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn...
it was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From Jack Maggs


Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
9 posted 2000-10-28 11:02 AM


"All around me
falls silent,
the gulls
fly by not speaking
magpies stop crying and
the cat's muffled his miaow
even the ocean
lies dormant,
closing its eyes
to the still of the day,
I notice the trees and
shrubs are alive
but don't seem to be
growing in this state
of quietness

imagine that?

these walls lean
over me as the
absence of sound
captures the pride
of the evening sun
she blushes the
cheeks of my loved
ones ......."

Maree, up to that point this is really excellent easily one of your best!  The line breaks were especially well done i thought particularly in this section:

"falls silent,
the gulls
fly by not speaking
magpies stop crying and
the cat's muffled his miaow
even the ocean
lies dormant,"

however after "loved ones", although the message is clear and makes a nice ending, the imagery seems to lose some of it's power somehow:

"smiling happily from frames", and

"curve of their beauty"

seem a little too familiar to me, especially as you are usually so brilliant at original thought.  anyway, all in all, the first part of the poem shines so much that these little moans of mine don't matter ....lol

you get better and better...    

P

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2000-10-28 11:11 AM


That silence can be golden, can't it? Just like your poem! This is sooooo beautiful, Maree!

Denise

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2000-10-28 11:23 AM


DarkAngel~

'these walls lean
over me as the
absence of sound
captures the pride
of the evening sun
she blushes the
cheeks of my loved
ones happily smiling
at me from their frames

of course, I smile back'


Absolutely stunning ...
a familiarity that is not elusive and
evokes a fondness of thought-filled memories.

You are such a wonderful writer.
Well done, sweet poet.
~*Marge*~





~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2000-10-28 11:35 AM


Maree--Wonderfully done...beautiful picture you paint!!
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
13 posted 2000-10-28 04:17 PM


Oh--- and that spelling we discussed.......





Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
14 posted 2000-10-28 04:40 PM


DA~ Wow......so beautiful...I love the way you make me see things through your eyes...excellent!! -SEA
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
15 posted 2000-10-28 04:46 PM


Stunning Maree! What a beautiful moment in time you've captured and expressed so vividly ... wonderfully written and filled with tender emotions!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

16 posted 2000-10-28 09:10 PM


You're not a dark angel...you're brilliant...I went back to read this 3 times...it captivated me...beautiful. I have such a beautiful postcard of a dream like moment in my head...you angel of light.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

17 posted 2000-10-29 01:16 AM


SB, yes hon so am I, and thanks for that advice  giggling too  

Thanks for your reply hon  


AAAhhhhhhh Sherlock!!!  Top of the morning to you Sir   I have to agree with you my humble friend, it did kind of die didn't it? hmmm I've posted one in CA for you so that your moans do matter   I like to hear those moans of yours MP      
Thank you for your always nice replies  


Denise, yes it can be golden and it was  
thank you for your lovely reply.


Oh Marge, wow you pay me a wonderful compliment   Thank you! *hugs*


Martie, Thank you so much sweet one  


Jamie, you mean this, the correct spelling  
MIAOW  

Thanks Hon  


Sea, it is wonderful that I am able to make you see things through my eyes,  
wish I could say the same for my son hahaha


What a lovely reply Kit   Thank you.


ok Ron, you've managed to make me blush  
with your lovely reply, Thank you so much  



"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
18 posted 2000-10-29 02:54 AM


Maree, this is stunning in it's simplicity, I particularly liked I smile back. It drew me in and I read on entranced.
Be well
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

19 posted 2000-10-29 03:11 AM


Maree...sorry hon...you are

WRONG WRONG WRONG

It is either:

Meow
Miao

or Mew

NEVER EVER Miaow...

never

get RID of that WWWW!!!

HAHAH........

  K


[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 10-29-2000).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

20 posted 2000-10-29 05:33 AM


My little Darling, Gorgeous, Wonderful, cute
little kiwi friend hehehe

No No No I am not wrong darrrrling  
hehe, I have been a many of time, and am glad to say not this time  
Good old oxford came in handy  

love you hon!

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

21 posted 2000-10-29 05:50 AM


shgoai76oajgakjgaepr8lkgjI3765doutgjlakgj!!!!!!

~Sulk~
HUMPH

Go away...

(only I can be right...)



[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 10-29-2000).]

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
22 posted 2000-10-29 10:12 AM


K-- there is no reasoning with her on the matter--though her dictionary was outvoted 5-1 by other dictionaries.... some stubborn angel huh???---lol--





Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

23 posted 2000-10-29 10:22 AM


even the ocean
lies dormant,
closing its eyes
to the still of the day,
========================

these walls lean
over me as the
absence of sound
captures the pride
of the evening sun
she blushes the
cheeks of my loved
ones happily smiling
at me from their frames

of course, I smile back


I turn my eyes toward
the mountains as the day
rests behind them,
funnily enough, in this
muted interval of time
they speak to me with
perfection,
they are
audible with the curve
of their beauty

Yes, all around me
in uninterrupted silence
I hear only them
=======================
Maree...this is EXCELLENT...
what a very cool poem


>>"in uninterrupted silence
I hear only them"<<

what a very cool line ...
perfect imagery and expression
wonderful piece of work..
captures "you" perfectly me thinks  
take care
jm

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

24 posted 2000-10-29 04:32 PM


JM, Thanks so much hon   I appreciate you stopping by  

NOW, Jamie my friend, my dear, see that red engine you have at the top of the page??

Me thinks I'll send him down to SQUIRTT you huh? how about that? plus, you said it was 4 to 1, not only can't you spell, hehehe you don't have a good memory....

AHAHA




"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
25 posted 2000-10-29 04:47 PM


My memory is just fine dear one:/  


me·ow (m-ou)
n.

        1.The cry of a cat.
        2.Informal. A malicious, spiteful comment.

v. intr. me·owed, me·ow·ing, me·ows.

      To make the crying sound of a cat.


[Imitative.]

                                                                                                        Pronunciation Key

                                                                          Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition
                                                                                        Copyright © 1996, 1992 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
                                                                                     Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

meow \Me*ow"\, v. i. & n. See 6th and 7th Mew.
                                                                             Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

Mew \Mew\, v. i. [Of imitative origin; cf. G. miauen.] To cry as a cat. [Written also meaw, meow.] --Shak.
                                                                             Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

meow n : the sound made by a cat (or any sound resembling this) [syn: mew, miaou, miaow] v : cry like a cat; "the cat meowed"
                                                                                         Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

meow

      MEOW: in Acronym Finder


                                                                                     Source: Acronym Finder, © 1988-2000 Mountain Data Systems
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1 entry found.


miaow n : the sound made by a cat (or any sound resembling this) [syn: meow, mew, miaou] v : make a cat-like sound [syn: miaou]
                                                                                         Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

now, please excuse me because I really must run








Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
26 posted 2000-10-29 04:48 PM


My memory is just fine dear one:/  


me·ow (m-ou)
n.

        1.The cry of a cat.
        2.Informal. A malicious, spiteful comment.

v. intr. me·owed, me·ow·ing, me·ows.

      To make the crying sound of a cat.


[Imitative.]

                                                                                                        Pronunciation Key

                                                                          Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition
                                                                                        Copyright © 1996, 1992 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
                                                                                     Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

meow \Me*ow"\, v. i. & n. See 6th and 7th Mew.
                                                                             Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

Mew \Mew\, v. i. [Of imitative origin; cf. G. miauen.] To cry as a cat. [Written also meaw, meow.] --Shak.
                                                                             Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

meow n : the sound made by a cat (or any sound resembling this) [syn: mew, miaou, miaow] v : cry like a cat; "the cat meowed"
                                                                                         Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

meow

      MEOW: in Acronym Finder


                                                                                     Source: Acronym Finder, © 1988-2000 Mountain Data Systems
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1 entry found.


miaow n : the sound made by a cat (or any sound resembling this) [syn: meow, mew, miaou] v : make a cat-like sound [syn: miaou]
                                                                                         Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

now, please excuse me because I really must run








Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
27 posted 2000-10-29 06:08 PM


what a great and lovely image have you penned for us.....I really enjoyed reading it.
well done

((hugs))
Charisma

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

28 posted 2000-10-29 07:28 PM


LOL@Jamie...

keep running...from scary Mmy...

(I tell you she is frightening - and I know...

(her cat Tuggles - he's cute though...he mews - without a doubt)

K

"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn...
it was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From Jack Maggs


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

29 posted 2000-10-30 12:16 PM


Charisma, Thank you so very much for your lovely reply  
--------------------------------

AHEM Jamie, yes ok, but it was only 4 yesterday and 5 today.
so tell me, where does miaou come from?
curious now  


Sweet little Kiwi butterfly, ummm  hon, WHO SIDE ARE YOU ON ANYWAY???? HHMMmmmmm?

yeah Tuggles is cute isn't he? just like his owner... let me tell you!   hehehehe  




"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
30 posted 2000-10-30 01:39 AM


What a vision... truly transcending!

Thank you &

Miaow!


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!"...Dr. Seuss

Toddles123@aol.com


wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
31 posted 2000-10-30 08:28 AM


lissen here this is perfection woohoo...if alot o different people spell meow differently then we have a meow mix...meow mix meow mix please deliver!!
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
32 posted 2000-11-12 11:07 AM


Maree-

This is simply beautiful! And I dont care
how meow miaow is spelled...simply lovely
still LOL.   Excellent writing...was in
the Archives and decided to bring this one
back up hon. Take care...

hugs,
amy  

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

33 posted 2000-11-12 11:38 AM


Maree I'm glad this came back up front again, I've read this so many times now, and now it's going in my library, so I don't lose it again. thanks. it is beautifully brilliant.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox



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