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Open Poetry #10
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Baited and Trapped
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Baited and Trapped |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Now wait a minute- I knew you were different from the moment I met you, I could see that you were talented. But I wouldn’t have bothered couldn’t have known, you didn’t tell me that you could grow teeth, sharp and biting. And an insatiable appetite for tender skin, fresh and naïve, devouring all of it, even the toughest parts, around the edges. And what’s more I was unpleasantly surprised to discover, that when you had your fill, your eyes and ears grew shut, leaving only your teeth, glistening in the dark, lonely room, filthy with the remains of your meal, as the only reminder that you'd ever been there at all. [This message has been edited by Debbie (edited 10-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert Joseph Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491South Carolina |
Debbie, I found this piece to be consuming and deliberate in theme, and presentation. Very good! Robert Joseph |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Y'know...I think you may found a new venue, Debbie...and I say, let it flow....you're really spreading your wings! |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
I read a lot of poetry that I don't post but must tell you, this is superb writing. Marcy |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Robert, I appreciate your insight on the structure and message that I intended for this poem, thank-you! Serenity, You're right, it feels good to just let go and let it flow once in a while! Marcy, I'm pleased that you liked it, thank-you! |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
i think you revealed the two faces we sometimes encounter with the ones we love, and this one had its fill and when it was done left you ignored until the urge or should i say hunger crept up again. very nicely done. It shows the pain and anger of deceit/lies. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is intense and scary! I enjoyed it. "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Thank-you Ron, I think your interpretation of my poem is very close to what I intended when I wrote it! I appreciate your comments! Irish Rose, I was hoping for intensity, still working at it, thanks! (I'm glad I don't have to wake up next to THAT guy everyday!) |
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