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Open Poetry #10
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Just Wondering
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Just Wondering |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Did it ever occur to you when you put me to bed every night, in the back seat of the car, leaning against my brothers shoulder, as we rattled past houses filled with warm, inviting light, that someday I would come to notice, that the world did not exist solely as your opportunity to sit in angry silence in the passenger seat, smoking one butt after another between pinched lips, while my father, a silhouette of a man in the dashboard light, steers us onward to nowhere? |
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| © Copyright 2000 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This poem packs quite a punch with a little girl's fist. As a mother, I found it stunning. As a daughter, it made me ache. As a poet (presumedly) I'm much impressed. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Wonderfully painted image Debbie... makes you think of the many things that have been imprinted upon our minds throughout our lives.... Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Thanks for your comments Serenity and Prometheus! I thought I'd try to write some poetry with a little bit of edge to it for a change, experiment with feelings other then the Hallmark type I usually write. It feels good to get brave and step out of my self-imposed boundries from time to time. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Debbie~ You certainly succeeded in finding that edge. This is an excellent write. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow...this is like a punch to the gut! Very good - I could see this poor little girl in the back seat...knowing what's going on even though her parents are oblivious to that fact. |
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jonmcm Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 222England |
Debbie, this is powerful stuff, and so true, I've been there too. Thanks Jon |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Evening Debbie, Very powerful and emotional poem you have written. I can relate. Bill |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I agree, you found that edge with much success. Powerpacked little verse from the depths of the heart of a little one. |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
I think you've struck a chord in many of us. vivid. very vivid. excellent work. |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Wow! If I had known that I would get such appreciation for ranting I might have tried this sooner! But seriously, thank- you all for your comments! I don't know about you guys, but it's awfully hard for me to write things that don't seem "nice". I think sometimes I worry too much about what people, family or friends might think.Too shy I guess. Thanks again for your encouragement as I continue to explore different styles of poetry! |
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