Open Poetry #10 |
From The Waist Up |
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
From the Waist up I don’t have a place inside of me you need to fill. I cannot be an extension of your arms wrists hands finger tips... grazing along my skin looking for a vacant place to fit yourself. There are no tags reading “some assembly required“, I have batteries included , and when you lay me down, my eyes do not close. Sometimes you are a blind dog sniffing me out, only knowing me by scent, and not by heart. Love me from the waist up, this time. My eyelids strain against visions of lips that swallow my body whole leaving my soul to wander without form. Remember in the morning how I held you to me without asking anything more than silence. Love me from the waist up, this time. You are a seed falling too close to the tree, and when growing you tangle with its roots and limbs forcing it to bend and break. Cry me a river of diamonds and place them, one by one, onto all the empty pillows and empty words you‘ve left me... and then we shall be equal. Love me from the waist up, this time... or do not love me at all. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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© Copyright 2000 Angela Erin Burke - All Rights Reserved | |||
desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
this is excellent imagery. I can almost feel what you are describing. such delicacy and intimacy yet firmness of resolve. the writting was also wonderfully done. much kudos. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Saxoness, this is a wonderful piece of writing, the best I've seen from you. A superb message encased in flawless poetry. A good mind came up with this one ") |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
This tells it like it definitely should be!!! Wonderful writing Peppermint Life is a Wheel |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Saxoness~ A nice write for sure. 'Cry me a river of diamonds and place them, one by one, onto all the empty pillows and empty words you‘ve left me... and then we shall be equal.' Sad, but lovely thought. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Man, does it feel good to be back here! I hardly recognize the place...it's so big! So many new faces...where shall I start? Also glad to see some of my old friends still going strong- Des, thanks for the words, even though it took you FOREVER to read this. hee hee hee just jokin you know i love ya. Balladeer, you know your comments are welcome no matter what they are, and ESPECIALLY when they are the ones you used! lol peppermint35, I don't believe we've met before, my name is Angela, nice to meet you, and thank you so much for your comments! I'll be looking for some poetry from yuo for sure. Marge, nice to see you again! Hope you are doing well, and thank you for taking the time to look at this We'll see if I can get another one out in less time thean before! lol "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
this is a powerful piece reflecting love, desires and the demand to be loved as an equal not an object. Thats my interpretation. you can walk away with alot from this one. Great. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Angela- this is WONDERFUL!geez, girl!! it's great to see you for one thing... but for another... you're writing is really really fabulous! this piece is sensitive, well phrased, no superfluous lines or words... excellent construction... it's really really good... no kidding congratulations! you should be very proud of your talent... |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I loved it, and you are a beautiful young lady! "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hi Angela, this is my first reading of one of your poems, what an intro! This is just incredible. Powerful. Thanks, I will be looking for more. Sandra |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Welcome back, Saxoness! Wonderful work here...very expressive. It really gets the message across and wasn't overdone (like mine LOL). Elizabeth P.S. Happy belated birthday! You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey!!! AWESOME to see you again hon!!! And with such a powerful re-entry...wow. I love this - especially the seed imagery. Well done.... K "He looked across the silky surface of the Severn... it was a famously difficult river with fierce tides..." From Jack Maggs |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Ok, so, it's around midnight, and I log on to see whats going on and suddenly I have a thousand responses to this (ok, maybe not that many) but it's great to see! Ron~ Thanks for reading this, I'm glad that you got the meaning of it so clearly, thats what I was shotting for. Doreen~ HI!!!!!!!! Man have I missed you! How are you? The kids? We HAVE to talk soon. I have so much I want to say! Thank you soooo much for what you said about my poetry, it means so much coming from you, a great writer and great lady. As far as talent, I don't know about that, but I read an author's quote once that said "Writing is 90% effort and 10% talent" And with this school, I'm certainly doing my part on the effort lol. Can't wait to talk to you soon! Kathleen~ (may I call you Kathleen?) Thanks so much! I've read some of your poetry, and it is beautiful just like it's author! I'll be looking for more Sandra~ I love your username, it's so pretty! Thanks for taking time to reply to this, I'm glad you liked it. Hope to see more of you Elizabeth~ Hey there! It's good to be back, thats for sure! And thanks for the B-day wishes, I appreciate it. Posh on your work being overdone, it's always lovely. Thanks again! Severn~ hey you! Long time no email lol. How are you? Good, I hope. We'll have to chat sometime. If you don't have my email anymore it's [email protected]. Drop me a note sometime! "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
I really & truly love this poem, not only is it direct but it flows something fabulous!!! "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!"...Dr. Seuss [email protected] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Angela from the waist up I think I love you. I certainly love the way your mind works and I love this smooth flowing poem. Be well Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*wow*....you have said this so strong....love it....and enjoyed your flowing words. Charisma |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Toddles~ Thanks so much for the reply, I'm glad you liked it. I worked on the flow, glad it payed off! Kethry~ Hi nice to meet you Thanks for your comments, they are always appreciated. Charsima~ Nice to meet you too! lol thankd for the wow, I love it! "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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