The exchange of pride for money 1.2

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Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-10-26 03:09 PM

As you may have well guessed,
i didn’t want to deal with you.
Contrary to popular belief I
don’t need you.

i just wanted to be alone.

Ahh…
But those dreams start coming,
You and me…
and my thoughts are flooding.
Visions run rampant through
narrow hallways, worn tunnels in my mind.

you wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
you wouldn’t let me out tonight.

Now it is all said and done.
i just want what you are.
i just want what i am.

You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
wouldn’t let me out tonight.

You couldn’t tell when to stay away.
How stupid you must be.

Now you’re looking at me, all vague, & empty eyed,
or are you just staring off into space?

You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
wouldn’t let me out tonight.

i wish you would go away,
cause I don’t need you anymore.
Never really did.

Now take your money and go.

i just want to sleep tonight.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2000-10-26 04:17 PM

Effigy~
"Ahh…
But those dreams start coming,
You and me…
and my thoughts are flooding.
Visions run rampant through
narrow hallways, worn tunnels in my mind"

Powerful.....great write.

-SEA

jonmcm
Member

since 2000-10-11

Posts 222
England

2 posted 2000-10-26 05:22 PM

Effigy, a nice poem - it reminds me of the times that I have tried to convince myself that I don't have a dependancy upon someone close, yet deep down I really do: -

'You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
wouldn’t let me out tonight.'

I'm just too weak to declare it.

Thanks

Jon

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

3 posted 2000-10-26 07:30 PM

This is a powerful piece!!! Do you write music as well??? It would make a great song

Peppermint
Life is a Wheel

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

4 posted 2000-10-26 11:53 PM

Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed this.

No I don't right music, allthough I have tried.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

5 posted 2000-10-27 01:55 PM

Yes a very strong write...one I can relate to

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

6 posted 2000-10-27 02:07 PM

Very powerful. Liked it much.
Sandra

forne_marin
Member

since 2004-04-13

Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina

7 posted 2004-05-04 10:54 AM

I like this one. I don't have any real critique except to say that I'm not 100% sure I understand this one. I want you to reply to this. WHO or WHAT is the speaker referring to? Is this a woman? I like this one. I like it a lot, but I'm a little puzzled by it.

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