Open Poetry #10 |
The exchange of pride for money 1.2 |
Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
As you may have well guessed, i didn’t want to deal with you. Contrary to popular belief I don’t need you. i just wanted to be alone. Ahh… But those dreams start coming, You and me… and my thoughts are flooding. Visions run rampant through narrow hallways, worn tunnels in my mind. you wouldn’t let me sleep tonight. you wouldn’t let me out tonight. Now it is all said and done. i just want what you are. i just want what i am. You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight. wouldn’t let me out tonight. You couldn’t tell when to stay away. How stupid you must be. Now you’re looking at me, all vague, & empty eyed, or are you just staring off into space? You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight. wouldn’t let me out tonight. i wish you would go away, cause I don’t need you anymore. Never really did. Now take your money and go. i just want to sleep tonight. |
||
© Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Effigy~ "Ahh… But those dreams start coming, You and me… and my thoughts are flooding. Visions run rampant through narrow hallways, worn tunnels in my mind" Powerful.....great write. -SEA |
||
jonmcm Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 222England |
Effigy, a nice poem - it reminds me of the times that I have tried to convince myself that I don't have a dependancy upon someone close, yet deep down I really do: - 'You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight. wouldn’t let me out tonight.' I'm just too weak to declare it. Thanks Jon |
||
peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
This is a powerful piece!!! Do you write music as well??? It would make a great song Peppermint Life is a Wheel |
||
Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed this. No I don't right music, allthough I have tried. |
||
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Yes a very strong write...one I can relate to |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very powerful. Liked it much. Sandra |
||
forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
I like this one. I don't have any real critique except to say that I'm not 100% sure I understand this one. I want you to reply to this. WHO or WHAT is the speaker referring to? Is this a woman? I like this one. I like it a lot, but I'm a little puzzled by it. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |