Open Poetry #10 |
When... |
Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
When the stars lose their luster, And deserts are kissed with morning dew When the faithful stop believing That’s when I’ll be over you When all the world stops laughing And the oceans cease to roar When my heart stops beating Then I’ll love you no more When the sun stops shining And night is no longer dark Then I’ll know for certain My soul has erased your mark When I stop memorizing Every word you’ve ever said That’s when I’ll finally know The love I have is dead. |
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© Copyright 2000 Tara Simms - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Tara~ This is so beautifully written and yet so very sad ... 'When the sun stops shining And night is no longer dark Then I’ll know for certain My soul has erased your mark' Reminded me of The Twelfth Of Never with Johnny Mathis crooning his heart out. 'I'll love you 'til the poet runs out of rhyme, until the twelfth of never ... And that's a long, long time.' ~*Marge*~< !signature--> ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com [This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 10-22-2000).] |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Tara~ yes..this is beautiful.......I liked this best: "When I stop memorizing Every word you’ve ever said That’s when I’ll finally know The love I have is dead." Great write. -SEA [This message has been edited by SEA (edited 10-22-2000).] |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Tara-- beautiful!! this is so breatakingly beautiful yet heart-breakingly sad. your writing always moves me in ways i can't explain. and while you and i are on different pages of love currently, i certainly can relate to the pain you penned here. "When the sun stops shining And night is no longer dark Then I’ll know for certain My soul has erased your mark When I stop memorizing Every word you’ve ever said That’s when I’ll finally know The love I have is dead." YOU said it girl! Excellent poem! Take care. Amy [This message has been edited by Aimster (edited 10-22-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
When the stars lose their luster, And deserts are kissed with morning dew When the faithful stop believing That’s when I’ll be over you ========================= When the sun stops shining And night is no longer dark Then I’ll know for certain My soul has erased your mark ========================= Tara this is indeed excellent... you have wonderful metaphor driven imagery and the intensity is perfect as is the rhyme and cadence ... I relate so much to these emotions... the intense need to always FEEL the love... not just remember it as a memory... OH HOW I RELATE... and you captured it well in this piece very well written take care girlie girl JM |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Why are we never able to get over them? And why are they never able to understand why we can't? Beautiful my friend. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
than I'll be over you, love is so full emotion, and also full with pain, I feel and hear it in and through your words. Charisma |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Marge, to quote another song "breaking up is hard to do." The twelfth of never. I like the sound of that. SEA, thank you. Right now my mind is stuck on instant replay, going over every word we exchanged. Amy, thank you so much for your praise. It brought a ray of sunlight to my day. Janet Marie, such a glowing review to receive on this rather gloomy poem. Thank you! Sven, if he knew I wasn't over him, I think he'd understand. Pride prevents me from saying anything. What would be the point? The issues are still there. Sometimes love isn't enough. Charisma, poetry is meant to be felt, not read. I'm glad I accomplished this task with you. Thank you all for reading this and understanding. The grieving process is long and painful. I think we've all been there a time or two. Take me as I am or watch me as I go |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
So painfully beautiful, Tara! I can definitely relate to this one. Great write! sp Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.' -John Greenleaf Whittier |
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Jeff Osborne New Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 2 |
"I love you": a warning, an apology, an interruption, a plea for attention, an objection, an excuse, a justification, a reminder, a trap, a blessing, a disguise, a vacuum, a revelation, a way of saying nothing, a way of summarizing everything, an attack, a surrender, an opening, an ending. when?... never - I do understand ... - wonderfully written; your heart put to words and images that are beautiful in their sadness. Wouldst that you could have different inspiration for your writing talents... jo ) |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I too can relate to this very much so. Very sad yes, but so well penned with your heart stretched out. Loved the read and send hugs to help comfort and as for the good-bye you spoke of on you other piece, yes, I do understand the need for closure...it never seems to come easily does it? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
But it should be, shouldn't it Tara? Had to come back. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Mark, it's rather strange for me to post my pain all over the internet for all the world to see. Thank you for reading, understanding and offering comfort at this time when I need it. It does help. Sven, in a perfect world, love would be all that's needed. In an imperfect world, such as this, sadly, it's never enough. Jeff, "I love you"--a reason for being, dreaming and wishing. It's promises unspoken, answered prayers, silver linings on storm clouds. Using "I love you" as a goodbye is probably the hardest thing to do. < !signature--> Take me as I am or watch me as I go [This message has been edited by Tara Simms (edited 10-24-2000).] |
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