Open Poetry #10 |
The Rivers Of Life |
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
She sits and stares at the river, it rushes by like the memories of her life. The waters flow continually moving and changing, swirling. Sometimes the waters race along in torrid rapids, and flow into calm seas. The waters ever changing just like the rivers of her life, moving on, slowing, lingering, and once again racing along. Each new current gives strength as it flows into the rivers...... of life. On the wings of words our spirits fly, and our souls are free. |
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© Copyright 2000 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved | |||
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I find your phrasing a bit off, Such as the first of your poem, Slightly rewritten She sit and stares At the river It rushes by like The memories Of her life Just an observation, and slight movement of the words, They are the same wonderful words you wrote, But I think it flows a touch better. Although I don’t mind a few rocks in my rivers, And you can ignore my words if they don’t please you. Enjoyed the read. Gloom |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Ah Gloom, I have always appreciated your in-sight, and yes that does flow very smoothly. Thank you. *s* |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
GS, this one just flows into my mind. . . Wonderful. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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