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An Anorexic's Prayer
| Open Poetry #10 |
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An Anorexic's Prayer |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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I do apologize if this offends anyone, but I recently read an article in People Magazine regarding women who are literally dying to be thin and this was the result, I also suffered from this disease as a teenager. A beautiful girl named Merrick Ryan died from anorexia nervosa at only the young age of 19. She was a straight A student, kind to all and had so much to offer the world, it is a great tragedy. In her own words "I would rather die than be fat." Only those who have lived with this horrible disease will truly understand my poem. ~AN ANOREXIC'S PRAYER~ I hear muffled voices in the distance whisper in concern saddened by the state of my skeleton frame refusing to understand the raw depths of my pain but their words mean nothing to a girl like me such words are only shadowed by the distorted image of fat and endless depression, they choose to see only with their eyes and not with their conscience or their hearts, eyes stare, some twinkle and laugh, some cloud over and weep only to leave me feeling more lonely and determined to lose this battle called life, what's the point of nourishing my soul a soul that was destined to be worthless and ugly - that will never become a supermodel or a perfect woman desired, a soul that will never hold true love or contentment in itself - wedding bells shall never sing for me, children will never call me mommy, a soul that is no longer able to explore this world in flight anorexic wings makes it so, so what's the point of allowing myself the pleasure of the taste or the scent of joy, for, a girl like me doesn't deserve to eat, my mind is a haven for torture to thrive and do it's worst, my fragile body screams in agony as ribs and hip bones tear solemnly through my ghostly skin, my empty stomach cries out a symphony of horrors hunger pangs and the longing for happiness are too much to bear at times, but still...in my house of mirrors, I remain fat and ugly and more worthless than any living being on this earth, please God, let me die, just let me waste away into the nothing that I am, I would rather die than be fat and unloved, please God just let me vanish away, I don't deserve to live anymore *By Melissa Honeybee* < !signature--> The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 10-22-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I read that article too, Melissa. I don't have anorexia, but your poem made me see what it was like. Very intense. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Melissa, well done. . . a walk inside the mind of those who suffer. . . Powerful and superbly written. . .  ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Melissa-- i read the article that you speak of in people's magazine. i have never suffered from the disease of anorexia but i have had freinds who did. your poem does justice and you have a wonderful way of expressing some of the deepest pain a human can face. kudos to you on a job well done for a topic that is difficult to discuss. take care. amy |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Melissa~ These are poignant thoughts that are felt, if not understood, even by those who are not afflicted with the disease. Anything we suffer may be visible to others as a symptom ... but lived within by those so afflicted. Sadly, some minds see what others do not ... 'shadowed by the distorted image' I know a young wife, mother and friend who is consumed by this disease. We will probably lose her, as she continues in her own private hell. It is heartbreaking to stand by and know that we can't stop the pain for her. She's been under the care of doctor's for over four years now ... the battle to save her life is being lost as each new day brings damage to her organs. It is heartwrenching to see the destruction and know you're powerless to help. Thank you for sharing this. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Melissa, Thanks for sharing this. Potent piece of writing. Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Living with bulimia for the better part of my life, I can echo almost every feeling in this piece. I hate the delusions that society and the media has placed in the minds of 99% of the young girls living in this country. More and more I believe the body image ideal we create is the disease. What disgusting obsessions we hold: thinness, fashion, perfection, mindlessness, TV… Where do we sculpt our souls, intelligence, and taste? Melissa, THANK YOU for this. ~ Beth P.S. Many cultures believe that a soft belly (not necessarily large, but yeilding) is a sign of tolerance, emotional maturity, feminine strength, and wellbeing. That the center of our physical selves is the releasing point of our spiritual selves (meaning tender flesh lets large energies flow freely throughout our bodies). Why don't a few of us adopt this attitude?  [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 10-23-2000).] |
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