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Open Poetry #10
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2000-10-19 07:55 PM


Walk with her,
She's wandering.
Throwing elapsed breaks,
To the wind,
And counting down her number mines.
Ramble with her,
Staring ceaselessly,
Into a sea of mishandled frames.
Minds at ease,
With a smile and touch of her hand.
Don't look at her eyes.
They don't smile,
As much as her soul does.
Reflections of disregarded sleep patterns,
Twist flippantly in dull browns.
Deprived or depraved,
But with nature,
Sure as any kinder stranger.
Below these roamings starts a sea,
An invigorating drop of fresh realism.
Turn to page number three,
And see her meandering in cirlces again.
Amusement far between the wanderings,
Of her tireless finger boarding.
Spare her your senseless random pity,
Or artificially induced labors of praise.
Particle board praise,
Rots while naive tears flood the top of it,
Hardly a picture of quality.
Just be real,
And maybe..
Just maybe, she'll let you run with her,
Or show you around her garden of inspiration.
A sprinkle here...
A sprinkle there...
See how she waters her vines?




My name isn't Baby, and I don't want to cyber.

© Copyright 2000 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
1 posted 2000-10-19 08:33 PM


A good read.

Elizabeth


Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near...
hedeservesbetter@hotmail.com


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
2 posted 2000-10-19 08:43 PM


Great ramblings here.
Catalinamoon

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-10-19 08:52 PM


I love guided tours through gardens of inspiration!

....and I love poems this well written, too!  

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-10-19 10:03 PM


Temptress~
This is quite well written.
It has a unique flow that is refreshing.

'Below these roamings starts a sea'

And I'm caught in the rising of the tides of thought.
Enjoyed it very much.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
5 posted 2000-10-19 10:07 PM


Below these roamings starts a sea,
An invigorating drop of fresh realism.
Turn to page number three,
And see her meandering in cirlces again.
Amusement far between the wanderings,
Of her tireless finger boarding.
Spare her your senseless random pity,
Or artificially induced labors of praise.
Particle board praise,
Rots while naive tears flood the top of it,
Hardly a picture of quality.
Just be real,
And maybe..
Just maybe, she'll let you run with her,
Or show you around her garden of inspiration

===========================================

It doesn't get any better than this.  Superbly penned with the touch of the a young eagle's feather to paint the emotion.

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2000-10-19 10:43 PM


Ah a pleasant walk. . .

Wonderfully penned. . .  

--------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
7 posted 2000-10-19 10:44 PM


Elizabeth:
Thank you.   I'm glad you think so.

Catalinamoon:
Ramblings, they are.   LOL! I wasn't sure if this was going to make sense at all. Thanks for reading!

Balladeer:
About that guided tour...Well..yanno...15 minutes...*mumbles incoherently* OHHH! Yeah..Well..It certainly is wonderful that you took the time to read this and respond to it.   I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you muchly, sir!  

Marge:
Thank you!   You don't know how much it means to me that anyone read this!   I just let it flow with my thoughts as I usually do. I'm glad you enjoyed it and could find something noteworthy in it!

Mark:
Wow! What a big piece of it that you find noteable!    Thank you very much for the compliments! I'm glad you enjoyed it!


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
8 posted 2000-10-19 10:49 PM


Evening Temptress,
This is just beautiful, very well done. I believe this is the first of yours I've read, and glad that I did.

Bill


Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
9 posted 2000-10-19 10:52 PM


Sven:
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed your stroll.   Thanks for reading!


Bill:
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it!  If this is the first you've read by me, then I'm glad I made a good first impression with it.  

[This message has been edited by Temptress (edited 10-19-2000).]

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
10 posted 2000-10-19 11:33 PM


'Don't look at her eyes.
They don't smile,
As much as her soul does.
Reflections of disregarded sleep patterns,
Twist flippantly in dull browns.
Deprived or depraved,
But with nature,
Sure as any kinder stranger.'

I know exactly what you mean!
Excellent write!  I loved it!!

sp  


Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.' -John Greenleaf Whittier

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
11 posted 2000-10-19 11:36 PM


this is really cool i love it when things as this flow together so perfectly it makes sense when its all tied together
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
12 posted 2000-10-23 09:44 PM


Snowpants:
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and apologies for being late with the thanks.  

Walt:
I'm glad you can tie it all together. Thanks very much for reading. I am glad you like it!  

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