Pungent Swells of Summer Rain

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Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

0 posted 2000-10-16 11:14 PM

~*~I was bored, so I made up my own rhyme scheme here...and this is what I came up with.

~*~

Pungent swells of summer rain
Disperse on tranquil air
Sparkling soft with mild grace
And lighting pathways fair...
Lord, let me possess no disdain.

I listen here to a calm forebear
Who’s wisdom molds this place
Of him, a mortal God, I dream
And into eternity I’ll chase...
Yes, to dance on the edge I’ll dare.

On diamond waters I see his face
Azure blue within the gleam
I wonder if he’ll ever know
But in his eyes he does, it seems...
And looking ‘pon him, my heart does race.

“Darling, you are as the moonbeams,
For with a tender light you glow.”
A whisper of his melodious voice
Lifts me quietly from woe
For now our love has been redeemed.

But then my heart felt a crushing blow
For once, he had made a tragic choice
To surrender himself to darkness...
And no longer may I rejoice
For our love is not free to grow.

The pungent swells of summer rain
Through my heavy spirit flair
Thoughts hang heavy, like bloody lace
Because a soul mate is so rare...
But Lord, I will possess no disdain.

< !signature-->

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Helen Keller

[This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 10-16-2000).]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

1 posted 2000-10-16 11:27 PM

I have to admit that I was not ready for the ending as the first verses really had me smiling for you and them the walls of joy just seemed to collapse around me. Wonderfully penned and so full of great imagery and emotion.

Dusk Treader

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN

2 posted 2000-10-16 11:33 PM

This was a beautiful poem, Krista! I love the story you've woven here. A great tale with your ever present and exquisite imagery. Loved this muchly, precious

Abrahm Simons

"Drained and blue
I bleed for you
You think it's funny, well
You're drowning in it too" - Alice In Chains

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

3 posted 2000-10-16 11:39 PM

Alwye, a splendid write and especially like the way you spun the tale...

Coco

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-10-17 02:00 AM

On diamond waters I see his face
Azure blue within the gleam
I wonder if he’ll ever know
But in his eyes he does, it seems...
And looking ‘pon him, my heart does race.

“Darling, you are as the moonbeams,
For with a tender light you glow.”
A whisper of his melodious voice
Lifts me quietly from woe
For now our love has been redeemed.

=======================
well my bored lil genius...
your rhyme scheme rocks....
read this one aloud... its got melody
kissed cadence...
and the waft of your weave ... wondeful

AWESOME write K ...
had to just smile while i was reading this...
you must be rubbing off on me ...
when you read my new one.. you will understand ..
later-sweet-queen-of-imagery-gator
jm

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

5 posted 2000-10-17 02:05 AM

"queen of imagery" indeed!
awesome poem here Krista, I just love to read you

Maree

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

6 posted 2000-10-17 08:58 PM

Thank you all so much, you've got me smiling!

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Helen Keller

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