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Open Poetry #10
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Two Eyes, Two Ears, No Throat to Scream
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Two Eyes, Two Ears, No Throat to Scream |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
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I’m afraid of eyes on me The paintings on the wall Hollow eyes that cannot see They always on me befall Running I scream from show room And more eyes on me remain Judging eyes show they presume That madman, oh poor, insane I mull through the anthill streets No more eyes on me at last Tilted heads and shuffling feet But the pace is always fast Trampled by the feet of eyes Hurried is their droning stride For, they too, I realize Fear my eyes now staring wide [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 10-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow this is different for you, and good...and yes you hit it perfect, "eyes" can say so much....some times too much to take....this is powerful walt, i like much  |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
another in a line of very interesting pieces, Walt ... i like this one |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Very well done. I enjoyed this one. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
"Hollow eyes that cannot see" I like that line.. Some eyes only see what they want to see.. blinded by so many things in life..as insecurites..good one Walt.. ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thank you guys for the kind replies yuh |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I really enjoyed this Walt! Wonderful rhythm and perfect rhyme scheme in this. It reminded me of a painting my parents had years ago called "The Laughing Cavalier" ... that was the spookiest painting, it didn't matter where you walked ... it's eyes followed you everywhere (felt like I was stalked for about 10 years, lol). Great poem! Best wishes, /Kit |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thanx kit woo woo woo i apreciate it |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
oooooh I love this Walty, very well done buddy, and I especially loved the last stanza .... Trampled by the feet of eyes Hurried is their droning stride For, they too, I realize Fear my eyes now staring wide Wonderful Yuh! hehe "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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The Jackal Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A |
brillant wording,nice format no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Hey Wayout, Have you ever read any Harlan Ellison? Something called "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream." It's a story concerning several human captives, held by a giant machine in space. The end result is the machine kills off everybody except one person, because the machine doesn't want to be left alone… yet the machine doesn't want to listen to the constant rant of this individual, so it removes the person's ability for speech. If you can't tell, your work here reminded me of this story. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
DA TJ and AS TY!!! o and no mister scott i read a lil english yuh thanx for seein somethin in it !! |
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