Open Poetry #10 |
Old stones |
Jhonbus Junior Member
since 2000-10-12
Posts 25Sheffield UK |
For some reason, I really like rain. Although most people say it makes them feel depressed, it makes me feel happy. ---- Slabs of stone once square and true over time, worn down by rain and foot Here and there pools of water collect in hollow bowls carved by the sculptor that is time beauty in agony I walk on looking down, stepping over a slab worn through so far the bowls joined to form a crack the stone dead, its beauty shattered As the rain falls it flows upon the stone forming pools here and there a stream flows among the gaps polishing smooth the edges And there, a pebble a time-smoothed sliver of a larger stone rests awhile upon a beach of rock catching its breath, its journey paused But the rain pours down the roar of water drowning out the pebble's plea afraid to move from its dry sanctuary The stream rises, as i watch a flow contained within a footpath's cracks to the pebble, a raging torrent the water hits it, the pebble moving once more Its fate, like that of a myriad existences to be worn away completely by the gentle caress the savage buffeting of time The pebble's destiny sealed reluctantly i break my own brief interlude and continue along the stone-bed path wearing it away with my steps as i go http://www.geocities.com/i_love_you_so_much_c/ |
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© Copyright 2000 John Ratcliffe - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
reads like a guided meditation--very peaceful and soothing...I enjoyed the view through your mind's eye...and I wouldn't mind a bit of rain myself right now...lovely work! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Definitely the mark of a poet here...it's a terrific idea for a poem and then to be able to write it out so deftly is very impressive....well done. |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Wow J, you've really broadened my perspective on the beauty of stones....this is excellent work as it would bring a smile to Mother Nature's face. Take care, Nathan |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
I love the rain too..mostly when i dont have to go out and can just listen to it dance outside my window.. enjoyed ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Jhonbus Junior Member
since 2000-10-12
Posts 25Sheffield UK |
Serenity - Peaceful and soothing? I think that is the same reason I like the rain, the sound of it falling is exactly that. And i'm glad you liked it. Balladeer - Well, the words "Definitely the mark of a poet here" and "impressive", coming from you, someone whose poetry is well loved and respected by me and many others, is flattering indeed Thanks a lot! Nate - I hope it brought a smile to your face as it would to mother Nature's, thanks for the comments Victoria - Yes, listening to it dance outside, in the trees and on the gravel, is nicer than being out in it http://www.geocities.com/i_love_you_so_much_c/ |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JhonBus~ What a wonderful perspective you have. I'm quite impressed with the imagery here. 'Here and there pools of water collect in hollow bowls carved by the sculptor that is time' and then this - 'And there, a pebble a time-smoothed sliver of a larger stone rests awhile upon a beach of rock catching its breath, its journey paused' Very, very well written. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Jhonbus, Bloody excellent writing. I love the rain, too. Mike |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awesome write! |
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