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her leaving (return)
| Open Poetry #10 |
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her leaving (return) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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the skeletal flower fell off its post and broke into bones and petals. her eye was a jewel that fell into a pillow of moss. (i'm deaf to your calls and blind to your need) she left a smoking hole where my sense of self had settled. (her velvet stench, loss of sense, recompense) she gave me a skeleton bouquet. it jangled like keys. they pointed at me from the table vase. their long green fingers swallowed my sense of smoking hole. i gently fingered my soul, figured on some snow. her goodbye as close to hurt as words could go. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike~ this just broke my heart.......(((HUGS)))  -SEA |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
she left a smoking hole where my sense of self had settled. ================= her goodbye as close to hurt as words could go. ================= damn ... you do this so well ... that pen of yours is razor sharp my friend I feel every line and thats a good thing  excellent write Mike.. take care ..k?... yeah ... K *smile* me |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
a skeleton bouquet...your images are always so vivid, but this one is particularly startling and effective. Really felt this one, Mike. Sigh. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
SEA, Ooo, I like this pattern: Write a poem, get hugged by you. J.M., Thanks. I'm still haunted by my past sometimes. Oh well -- if it makes poetry like this come out of me, who can complain too loudly? S'en, Thanks for reading and I appreciate you recommending me to JP (I think that's who it is?) I'm gonna be in San Diego this weekend, but after that, I'll be on to send you a shiny new e-mail. I knew you'd like that. Take care, friend.Mike |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
I feel like such a goof raving about everything I read, but among these lovely posts there are a few absolutely EXCEPTIONAL pieces, and this is certainly one fo them. Imagery, flow, simplicity & complexity, biting portrayal of emotions: these are not just captured but reinvented in a most appealing cynical light. Bravo. ~ Beth |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
This piece is very well written Imagery great, left me with a sense of lonliness and sadness though great writings Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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