Open Poetry #10 |
Shadow Visions |
ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
The way it makes me feel the trembling within my twisted fate revealed to pure to not be sin The way it makes me shake and quiver with the thought my senses overtake the boundries they were taught Such powers now entangled in this mind of endless life where darkness once was strangled and dreams were those of light I shudder at the churning the sound that silence makes I lay before the yearning where once there was a quake The breath between two teardrops connected by a blink reflection in the mirror stops then gives an earie wink Lay down before my shadow as it walks the other way then stops before the plateau and kneels down to pray A light shown down upon it yet never did it fade then I saw reflections on it of me in my past days I walked up close to touch this as it turned and looked at me then took me down and placed a kiss and said "Look... you will see..." I joined my shadow with closed eyes and said a little prayer to send a blessing in disguise ...re-teach me how to care Open my eyes, my shadow shown upon the ground before me a warm and gentle breeze had blown within the light around me. Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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© Copyright 2000 B.J.Howe - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Thunderkyss~ LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!!! Fantastic. -SEA |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love the spirit in this,,,and you've a natural flair for meter...well done, m'friend. I think a sonnet would suit you so well...*winks* luvie |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
This is pure perfection! So soft and beautiful with a quiet sadness... The breath between two teardrops connected by a blink I loved this line...excellent work~ |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
SEA ~ Thank you so much. Serenity ~ Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it Butterflies_dont_cry ~ Thank you so much I wanted to write something a little different, something off my normal beaten path... a bit twisted, a bit weird, with a funny turn at the end. I dont know, have to try some more maybe LOL Thanks again. Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
loved it Thunderkyss..very nice rhythm too.. A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
Victoria ~ Thank you I am glad you enjoyed. Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ThUnDeRkYsS~ Quite a nice write, my friend. 'Lay down before my shadow as it walks the other way then stops before the plateau and kneels down to pray' I particularly liked this. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Bravo.....Hats off to you ThUnDeRkYsS. Not only did this piece have good meter it spoke to me in multitude! Excellent work, and I even love your quote! ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I don't think I've replied to your poetry yet, what's wrong with me? The meter is wonderful in this one, very nice flow. Kathleen |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Wow! I loved it!!! So many fabulous lines here... But I believe this is my favorite: my senses overtake the boundries they were taught Quite a new take on "chasing shadows"... I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this. |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
Marge ~ Thank you very kindly for your kind words, much appreciated. Irie ~ Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it Irish Rose ~ Thank you, probably because I haven't been around for a while :P lol Elizabeth Cor ~ Thank you much, I cant tell you and everyone else how much your kind replies mean to me as well Thanks again. Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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