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Open Poetry #10
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The House That Jack Built
| Open Poetry #10 |
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The House That Jack Built |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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The House that Jack Built There were so many gates to lock out the lust that longed for wealth, some were strong and opened if you knew the code, others were green and made of hedges that curled around or climbed the view of pewter sky and red tile roof. And across the slated walkway the cathedral doors opened to polished wood and Berber and art of mossy water and lavender plants and ripples of clever distortion. A parrot waddled across the marble floor and directed a song into all the open space, its yellow eyes like tiny marbles, its tale of crimson a living art with color that matched the Imari collection standing in a row atop the the rare antique of living that held its throne against the walls of every room and sank barefoot into the plush. I saw the mantle now covered with enormous cement fish that came to life amidst the drift wood and glass balls and then turned to see the reflection in warm wood of family lined smiling on the credenza of my wonder. So I came back to my cluttered computer and my carpet of warn memories and sank into the difference thinking some sort of envy, a tiny piece of longing, but then looked at the piano of my youth, covered with the faces of my life glassed and covered with a past minute and a smile played the ivory keys [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and then turned to see the reflection in warm wood of family lined smiling on the credenza of my wonder. So I came back to my cluttered computer and my carpet of warn memories and sank into the difference thinking some sort of envy, a tiny piece of longing, but then looked at the piano of my youth, covered with the faces of my life glassed and covered with a past minute and a smile played the ivory keys ================== theres no place like home? home is where the heart is? you can tune a piano but ya cant tune a fish   LOLOH girl you KNOW i LOVE the wisdom in this beauty.. and JEEEZZEE....could ya have written anymore amazing imagery.... i feel like i walked thru that house... could feel the carpet...smell the FISH awesome awesome writing ... as always.... later-wheres the credenza of my wonder-gator me |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
some day - some how I'm going to be able to reply BEFORE JANET - so SHE has to think of something to say that I haven't already said! (from the above you should be able to figure out - that I'm saying I agree with Janet - nd I'm only teasing her - and as usual I'm awed by your writing - and I love the picture I got of Your house - as much as - if not more than that of "jack" it sounds a whole lot warmer ~S~ |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Beautiful work Martie...the memories make the house a home~ |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
yike!! ...i totally agree with Janet I'll take it with me to scotland, literally and metaphorically, and give it the in depth read it deserves martie.... see ya philip |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Okay...so waiting to read yours last before going to sleep is a bad idea if I want to be able to beat Janet to the punch too, but the truth be known to you is that I read yours last so that I may dream as you see because as much as "THEY" can see, smell, and feel your words, "I" can live them in my dreams simply by taking your words with me to bed. So you see, I am not crazy and yeah I know what time it is so I may only get 45 minutes sleep but....NO MOM SPEECHES OKAY!!!!!!!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet--and the smiles from the picture frames, both the cradenza and the piano are full of love. Thanks Bill--my house is warm, but hers was too...only because she made it that way. Butterflies--love makes a house a home, yes...and memories. Philip--enjoy your trip! Mark--Do you really dream what I write?? How can you when you never seem to sleep? I do feel privaleged that you save me for last...thanks, my cowboy friend. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-12-2000).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Martie, I need to do a few more re reads of this one, because I am still dazzled by the visuals of this poem, excellent images wonderfully written, promise to return to this poem at another stage and sink deeper into the words. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Excellent work. Excellent. I'm speechless. And this is doreen, so that's quite an accomplishment. Excellent. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
This is wonderful, I couldn't pick a perfect line I just couldn't. It is completely wonderful, I love this all of it. Marsha |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
brian--thanks for wanting to come back again...this place was drenched in color. Doreen--To leave you speechless...I think is quite a compliment..thanks! Marsha--thanks so much for lettimg me know that you liked this...sure appreciate it! |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Hi Martie, I thought it said "horse" and I was expecting a rocking-horse. Surprise to find a house. But anyways Michelle's site has been "framed" you ought to take a look..!!! Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am. To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight. -Marge Tindal |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Yes my friend I do and I dont need to sleep to dream. Wonderful as it was the first time. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Martie, this is brilliant. Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Martie, This is a fine work of poetry, one for keeping amongst the best of the best. I love your style and look forward for more. "but then looked at the piano of my youth, covered with the faces of my life glassed and covered with a past minute and a smile played the ivory keys" Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
martie this is definitely one of the best I’ve read of yours. I enjoyed every moment right from the clever line: “If you knew the code” through all the luscious and even mildly surrealistic images to the really great “turn” in the line: “So I came back to my cluttered computer”... and the clear message about something worth more than material possessions, and the rather cold and souless flavour that’s given to the earlier stanzas when we compare them with hindsight to the warmth of the final few lines. Incidentally i wondered if you meant “warm” or “worn” in the second line of the final stanza - either might work...... Really really impressed with this martie thanks philip |
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