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desperado
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

0 posted 2000-04-30 08:33 PM

dancing in the moonlight
music cutting through
rhythm taking you away
giving you another view

silence in your dreams
darkness in despair
echoes from within you
crying out in the air

show me the shadows you keep
inside the world you repress
with all desires that you have
and things you failed to address

I never saw the secrets you had
I was blinded by the lights
never knew the evil within
never knew I was in their sights

you left me there alone
with only hope to save me
an act I can't condone
yet still it set me free

for you held me to the ship
and slowly let me sink
you never tried to help me
not even at the brink

yet now I'll live forever
here at the oceans floor
knowing that I was cheated
and left here forever more

"There were times in my life
when I was going insane
tryin to walk through
the pain
when I lost my grip
and I hit the floor
yeah I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door" - Aerosmith "Amazing"

netswan
Senior Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 1369
Washington

1 posted 2000-04-30 09:08 PM

Desperado, this is well written.
It rolls off the tongue as I read it out
loud. You have portrayed pain well here.

Thanks for sharing,

netswan

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

2 posted 2000-04-30 09:39 PM

Yes, this is beautifully written, and very sad.

Jeffrey Carter

Member Elite

since 2000-04-08

Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!

3 posted 2000-04-30 11:43 PM

WOW!!! I was blown away by the last stanza. This is amazing work D. Keep 'em coming.

All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

desperado
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

4 posted 2000-05-01 03:28 PM

netswan -  thank you.  I've always been more of a lyrical poet than anything.  I owe that to 6 years of music.  6 years that I'd never take back and would gladly do over again.

Rosemary -  I'd like to thank you for all the comments you have given me.  you've commented to all of mine and yet I can't recall ever commenting to yours.  from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Jeffrey - Thank you.  I'd like to appreciate you as well for all you have done.  and I feel glad to know that you felt this was a good poem.  Thank you very much.

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