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Open Poetry #7
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Message in a Bottle
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Message in a Bottle |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Message in a Bottle There was so much magic in the water as the sun turned down and left all its silver fishes shimmering like a diamond necklace across the lake. Soft muted moss swayed with a lapping caress against the rock where I sat in contemplation. I saw a bottle floating where the water turned to waste and muck like swamp goo, it gently hit a rock in rhythm and chimed with such delight I imagined its contents, some cheap wine and stolen kisses with the exposed midriff of love on the naked open grass and this bottle maybe in a brown sack passed, and the sweet taste lingering on soft open kisses of two drunk on passion. I looked closer hoping to glimpse a piece of paper nestled there for me to find, something that said… I have searched forever for you just to find you here too late in this faded time to kiss you, but love sighs if you listen to the caress of air that stirs around the star draped sky, and you will find me there lost and hungry for your taste. Such interesting stories in the depth of shallow mellow drifting clutter of a lake in a city. An orange plastic bowling pin, next to a flip flop next to matted fish line next to a Styrofoam cup and a coke can, a story for each object left, neglectful or blown like a plastic bag across time to lodge in exclamation of the things that make us human. I closed my eyes and listened to the sand shifting and the sweet chime of my bottle where a story grew, and the radiant colored dream burst and fell around me like brown wings and for some reason I felt so sad. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 04-25-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Franni Junior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 39 |
Martie, I collect old bottles. This poem really touched me with all the sounds and senses. This poem really takes one far beyond just a picture of a bottle and your last line really got me. Franni |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
WOW What vivid description in this Martie. I found a message in a bottle once, But all it said was "No Comment"...lol Now don't that beat all?...lol All my love, Jeffrey |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Martie... you are truly amazing. Anyone who can make "muck like swamp goo" that appealing has to be on a different plane than the rest of mere mortals. Personally, this is one of my favorites of your poems. Truly enjoyed. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Mike, Martie is for sure on a different poetic plane, and I agree with Franni, your poetry, Martie, takes us far beyond description. It literally pulls us into the poem. You are a wonder And this is wonderful Liz |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Franni--I collect many old things...bottles are one...I'm so glad you liked this poem! Jeffrey--thanks so much for the wow, but the no comment, how sad...just make up your own message like I did. Mike--So glad you like this..it was truly a beautiful place, but it's so sad to see how people just don't care enough to pick up their own garbage. Still want to go fishing? Liz--You do wonderful things to my ego...thank you so much, my friend. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Magnificent writing, Martie! Very beautiful! Denise |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
I'm with Mike on this one! You can make any subject sound romantic and whistful! Corinne |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Denise--thanks for the magnificant! Corinne--it was...really! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, Martie~ This titillating poem took me to the land of wishes and dreams and plopped me back on the contaminated shore of reality. How I was wishing for you to find the 'message in a bottle'. Of such are heart-sighs made. Then the plunk of realities 'bottle' settled in and awakened me from the dream. What a sadly vivid poem that heralds the need for Earth Day programs. You are just something else, my friend. Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
My dear sister Marge, thank you for seeing right into the heart of what I was trying to say. |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
I was really thinking about "Message in a Vase" when I began to read. You surprised me again. Nice work too..! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
lucky, you make me smile...thanks for reading! |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
The message in this bottle needs to be back at the top.....so here you go~~~~>>>>> Martie, this was nice reading. |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
But too, I haven't forgotten your message in a bottle. Best loves deary. |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
[Have I been here..? So I forgot] They said I was losing my memory and I just couldn't resist this 'lil one. ~~~~~~~~~~~ To Be Home to be at home is the best cure for winter Christmas sadness which falls upon us inside our doors our own rooms are never quite so snug as when the fires are lighted which are like ‘ol friends who welcome us after a long absence an take up the threads of acquaintance where it was dropped off in spring there are still some flowers on the desk asters and our last dried roses of summer with red and white berries nestling among brown leaves prolonging their radiance and beauty of the spring that links the past to our present but the glows of warm fires and the early evening dressed in crispy airs along with bright stars out of doors reminds me winter is come and makes me glad I’m here at home and thankful not only for its peace but for your warm loving also. [Much love Martie] |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
[Oh please Martie... may I] < !signature-->There was so much magic in the water as the sun turned down and left all its silver fishes shimmering like a diamond necklace across the lake. Soft muted moss swayed with a lapping caress against the rock where I sat in contemplation. I saw a bottle floating where the water turned to waste and muck like swamp goo..; it gently hit a rock in rhythm and chimed with such delight I imagined its contents some cheap wine and stolen kisses with the exposed midriff of love on the naked open grass and this bottle maybe in a brown sack passed, and the sweet taste lingering on soft open kisses of two drunk on passion. I looked closer hoping to glimpse a piece of paper nestled there for me to find, something that said... I have searched forever for you just to find you here too late in this faded time to kiss you, but love sighs if you listen to the caress of air that stirs around the star draped sky, and you will find me there lost and hungry for your taste. Such interesting stories in the depth of shallow mellow drifting clutter of a lake in a city. An orange plastic bowling pin, next to a flip flop next to matted fish line next to a styrofoam cup and a coke can, a story for each object left, neglectful or blown like a plastic bag across time to lodge in exclamation of the things that make us human. I closed my eyes and listened to the sand shifting and the sweet chime of my bottle where a story grew, and the radiant colored dream burst and fell around me like brown wings and for some reason I felt so sad. [This message has been edited by lucky (edited 04-29-2000).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
lucky, much love, still and again in bottles or jars formed from words into marvelous shapes it still is and will be just your sweet self shaping such a beautiful life!! |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Beautiful poem! I enjoyed it very much. Good thing you understand my sweet one. He just can't help himself sometimes...!! |
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DiObear Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 66Switzerland |
To me, this read like a story and I felt like I was sitting next to you on that rock. The images you create seem so real. It would have been an even nicer image if we weren't talking about trash.  |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
your magical 1st verse held me tight through the muck & goo to come - and like you I felt sad at the end - clearly you conveyed your message very well - I post messages - but not in bottles - Perhaps you'll find your right message someday soon ~S~ |
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