Of Dreams And Things, Of Angel Wings (Inspired by Satiate)

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Cassanova
Junior Member

since 2000-04-12

Posts 39
Turlock, Ca.

0 posted 2000-04-25 12:08 PM

Of Dreams And Things, Of Angel Wings

You have paralyzed my dreams,
Yet still you speak of love and things.
As to my broken heart you bring:
The promise of an empty ring
On a finger made of glassy steam.
Your love a traitorous requiem,
Where every lie’s a gut-shot sting.
No more the false-fed faith you sing.
And as I face the pain you fling,
I see you’re clothed, in unearned wings.

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

1 posted 2000-04-25 12:27 PM

Pretty searing thoughts you've got there, my new-found friend. I know how hard you worked on this poem, and am glad to see you posting it!!

Keep it up, guy!

[This message has been edited by Satiate (edited 04-25-2000).]

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

2 posted 2000-04-25 02:02 PM

liked it much!!!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2000-04-25 02:18 PM

I loved the title, then the whole piece was excellent.

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

4 posted 2000-04-25 02:19 PM

Ouch......sounds like love has taken leave...
nice writing

Irie
Senior Member

since 1999-12-01

Posts 1493
Washington State

5 posted 2000-04-25 02:26 PM

Ouch is right.
"I see your clothed, in unearned wings"
Yikes, sounds like some one I know all too well.
Painfully touching Jason

~Sheri

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

6 posted 2000-04-25 07:35 PM

Jason* Although expressing much pain in this piece this is superbly written!! You went to quite a bit of work making all this work and you hit your mark!!

Hold me for yesterday
Kiss me for tomorrow
But love me for today.

Jeffrey Carter

Member Elite

since 2000-04-08

Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!

7 posted 2000-04-25 07:51 PM

Now that's what I call making a point.
Thought stirring words here.

All my love,
Jeffrey

mariee66
Senior Member

since 2000-01-30

Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind

8 posted 2000-04-25 09:35 PM

This is great writing~
First one of yours I've read, I think~
Nicely done~
Marie~

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

9 posted 2000-04-25 11:15 PM

Your love a traitorous requiem ...

That line caught me! The entire poem was well done -- the rhythm consistent, the rhyme intact -- but that phrase was brilliant. I will indeed be eagerly looking for more from you ...

--Kess

Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...

--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

10 posted 2000-04-26 02:30 AM

Don't know 'nuthin' 'bout the rhymin' stuff, but I knows I likes this much! Liek the idea, like the format, like the phrasing and like everything else between!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2004-05-13 04:09 AM

very nicely done

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