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Open Poetry #7
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-06-08 12:26 PM


it resonates with flight, eyes dark jewels, the bird into the air, fast beats moving small paper wrappers. it resonates with the ache of wanting to be part of the sky. it resonates with the simple pleasure of the air. currently, this bird flies.


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-06-08 01:09 AM


very cool imagery, I cant wait to hear
what inspired this...its never what I guess...trying to figure out the small paper wrappers  
later cool metaphor gator
jm/bs

 I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling ...
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me...
In everything in you.
~MB20~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
2 posted 2000-06-09 11:32 PM


Great idea....I think IMHO that you should embellish this and post it in Prose. It's a slower forum, but has some awesome writers!
Good job!
~Heather

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-06-09 11:52 PM


YEA---what she said...
I wish for some BSQ prose too...
then i can get my fixx in two forums  
please please pretty please ...
with butterfly slippers on top *smile*

(can you tell i've had too much rasberry iced tea tonite)    
see I even gave you some candy buttons too  
later cool-mike-gator  
jm/bs

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2000-06-10 12:37 PM


you said it, sweet, "it resonates..."

Smiles.  Me much better, now.  How 'bout you?

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2000-06-10 02:46 AM


Thanks all for reading. My one question: why embellish -- add filler -- to something that can be said in so few words? This has a long way to travel before it's prose, and that's not its point.

And to serenity,
Doing fine. A little p'ssed about what happened at work today -- I got reprimanded for writing poetry on the clock, but it goes deeper than that. Let's not even get into it.

Mike

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-06-10 03:02 AM


Mike--"poetry on the clock" is ONE great theme/title/line....if ya haven't done so already, take that ball and run with it....

Luv, S'en

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