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Open Poetry #7
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SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396


0 posted 2000-06-07 02:32 PM


Too Long

angular positions falsely rest
lids burn with every wink
aches in cranium pounding
mind unable to think

draft enters brushing skin
bumps of discomfort in view
expressionless first face
not knowing what to do

clawlike nails picking
fanglike teeth grinding
hair hanging down
it continues she is finding

too long to count the days
to remember exactly how it felt
to rest her weary body
before she slowly began to melt.


© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-06-07 02:37 PM


Sounds like someone's getting a   burn

Great job!



 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

2 posted 2000-06-07 02:45 PM


~Wow,...now that I reread it ...that theory so sounds like it applies.  It's actually about continuous sleepless nights,..but it's so neat to see how something you write will be interpreted by readers.  I find it interesting and fun too, to see what your writing does to others...and see what they can take from it.  Thank you Sunshine for reading....it means a lot. . Take care. *Peace.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
3 posted 2000-06-07 03:01 PM


hey, there, ya lil Spitfire (I always wanted to say that to a young lady), I thought the poem was about sleeplessness over a lost love.  I wasn't too far off, was I.  Incidently, it made me feel real weary - so I guess you nailed it.  Great job!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 2000-06-07 03:51 PM


I'm with Lngjhn... first thought was sleeplessness... 'course it's a curse I'm forced to bear, so since I relate...
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
5 posted 2000-06-07 04:10 PM


Sleepnesses into a nightmare, yes?  Funny, we seem to have this in common, Spitfire!

Corinne

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
6 posted 2000-06-07 05:05 PM


I too find it interesting to see how others interprete my work, it's all a perspective thing! Great work SpitFire!

 God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown



amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
7 posted 2000-06-07 05:08 PM


Hi Spitfire
Hope you're not straining yourself very much. Take good care of health and mind.

Sincerely
A_L

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
8 posted 2000-06-07 05:39 PM


Great peace Spitfire, and I hope you get a great suntan!

 Nathan

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

9 posted 2000-06-07 06:02 PM


~LngJhn,...thanks for reading.  Lots of people have been calling me 'Lil SpitFire....it's cool...I like.   hehe.  Glad you picked up on the sleeplessness part...but sorry to make you weary.

~Christopher,...thank you for taking the time to read.  I remember you once saying how you had this very same problem...yuck huh?

~Corinne,...I know.  Right after I posted this I read and replied to yours and was just shaking my head...too wierd.  Hope you find some rest soon.  Take care.

~Eagle One,...thanks for reading.  Yeah it is interesting to see other's perspectives.  Thanks for the Great Work.

~Amazon_Lover,...thank you for the concern and the kind, kind words. Take care.  

~Nate Dogg,...It seems you and Sunshine think alike....pretty cool.  Thank you for reading.  Happy to see your interpretation.  Take care. Thanks again.

*Peace.

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
10 posted 2000-06-07 06:29 PM


I've had a few of those nights myself.
In fact, just had one last night, or was it the night before?
LOL, anyway, great poem and I can relate with
this one well.


 ~Sheri

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2000-06-07 08:45 PM


Spit Fire,

I have had some of those nights myself.  I hope you do get some rest my friend.  Can't keep going on and on without any sleep.  Good writing!!  

LW


 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

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