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Open Poetry #7
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I Walked Right Out the Front Door
| Open Poetry #7 |
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I Walked Right Out the Front Door |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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I walked out of his heart I could tell by his demeanor By the wrinkles on his brow That he didn’t seem to need me As I needed him somehow He chose another love it seems His eyes shown pewter steel He pursed his lips and nodded Like he blew a business deal My love was not intentional He knew that from the start The day I tripped and fell Into his unsuspecting heart It was just so warm and soothing there A home that I would choose I had settled back in comfort’s bliss Just kicking up my shoes The day she came, no need explain What I could figure out I politely said good by to him And found my own way out I heard that he was married And he never spoke my name For his heart could only hold one love And one it full contained One day we meet by accident He seemed to beg me hear How truly blessed his life was Full of love all of those years But his brow was etched with sorrow And his eyes an icy mist As he told of his unhappiness Though his heart seemed full of bliss He said I know this sounds so strange But I swear to God above That though my heart is empty It still overflows with love I said your heart’s the only one In which I’d ever dwell He looked at me with peircing eyes As they began to swell I said I walked out your front door That day she had me part Then sprinting round the back Crawled though a window of your heart Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh, this is very, very good...and revenge at its best! You go, Elizabeth! Sunshine ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Oh Liz! I have no words to define this one! It all just came together, the rhyme, the words, all of it. Left a big footprint on my heart. This was awesome, I love it! |
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angelswing Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705United Kingdom |
'Sniff' What a truly spectacular poem, I loved reading every line of it, it read like a story . With all the badness around me that poem just brought me away from it all - the stress, the pain and the worry . I can't thank you enough for the sanctuary your poetry has offered me . L.of.L. Tom . Insanity is a perfectly normal responce to an abnormal world -R.D.Laing.- |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
nice, Elizabeth...I suppose I've been on both sides of what you are writing of. It's very well expressed. ~shadows dance by the light within~ |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Elizabeth,...this here poem tells quite a story. Wonderful writing. Truly a great read. Thanks. |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Liz this is really very good, the meter and rhyme are excellent, it just flows on and on faultlessly .. i must say though i'm a little confused by sunshine's comments ..lol... are we reading the same poem!!??  I got from this exactly the opposite of "revenge" .. more like immediate forgiveness and an overwhelming continuing love even in the face of loss, then eventually a coming together again .. the last stanza was just great ... quote: ... i love happy endings  wonderful job Liz Philip [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 06-05-2000).] |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow, this is beautiful writing....the tricks the heart can play, and the lessons we learn from the pain...sigh...beautifully written |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow! Liz...this is masterfully done, dear...and the last line...superb!! |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Life can be so complicated, can it not? This poem is heart aching and soul taking, most excellent! Corinne |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Liz, U DUNNIT again, WOW, what else can I say, 'xcept this is beautifully done... regards, sudhir Hey you, out there in the cold, Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisle, With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me? Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own, Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me? Hey you, with your ear against the wall, Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home.... by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
Liz, Wow, I just love it. It flows with so much story! Great, great job on this piece. No hesitation, boldly walked out the door.........Loved it. marcy |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Oh, Perfection! "I'll leave...but I'll be damned if you'll ever forget me." What games the heart can play. "That man has shown himself great who has never grieved in evil days and never bewailed his destiny." --Seneca |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ho hum. So what? Another great poem by that Santos woman. Big deal. It happens every day!! BORING!!!! Liz, please keep boring me for years to come!!! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Gosh, your responsses overwhelm. Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. Philip got the story right and Tom, when things get to be too much, poetry is a great outlet. It allows you to vent the spirit and it truly does take you away from all those troubles, many of which aren't important. and those that are can often reap a new perspective. Glad you enjoyed Liz |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautifully written story, and great content ... loved the flow and rhythm Elizabeth! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very beautiful, Elizabeth! But of course! Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kit, THanks so much, Glad you liked it Denise, Thank you dear, All is well here. Thanks for everything Liz |
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