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Open Poetry #7
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Will She Come?
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Will She Come? |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon 
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all evening he waited anxiously eyeing the clock retracing his steps over and over counting the minutes until her arrival kneeling before a crackling fire adding another log he rose to check again his preparations for tonight the thick sheepskin rug lay lovingly spread before the flames waiting for her the book the one she longed after in that tiny shop downtown rested on the warm stone hearth waiting for her the wine that special bottle from a few year's ago late fall harvest sat open and sweet waiting for her the glasses his best crystal sat sparkling in the firelight waiting for her his hand stopped a moment over his heart and lovingly fingered the prize there hidden away in his pocket where it lay waiting for her taking the ring from it's secret place he gazed at it mesmerized by it's shine by what it stood for soon he smiled and softly slipped it back to it's repose where it lay waiting for her seating himself back on the chair he resumed his vigil over the fire over the wine over the clock over himself and he sat quiet and lost in thought waiting for her |
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| © Copyright 2000 Heather Walters - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
wonderful imagery in this... and cool presentation perfect poem of anticipation. great writing take care, jm I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - that I know too much I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling ... If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home cuz there's a little bit of something me... In everything in you. ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
What a wonderful read this was...I could feel the anticipation of it All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sweetly beautiful! I hope she gets there soon!  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
XAngel~ I simply LOVE the way you did this one. I anticipated every moment ... every move he made ... every thought he thought was mine ... waiting for her This is an excellent piece of poetry. Enjoyed it immensely. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
SIGH ...there, I let it out. I was holding my breath the whole read through! Amazing girlie, simply amazing!  Pssst...GO BLAZERS!!!  |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
Right, that's it! I'm definately going to complain to the library this time..... they've ripped the last page out again! I thought this was great, but I STILL wanna read the last page Eric. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very well done...I enjoyed reading this..it just kept building and getting better. James |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful X Angel ... I loved the style and the anticipation you built up in this poem, absolutely terrific! Best wishes, /Kit |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Janet Marie it was supposed to have a happy ending! I dunno what happened...Jeffrey...thanks!! Poet DeVine....my dear, what if she's destined NEVER to arrive? Oooh have I given away too much of my sequel poem? Marge...what you experienced is EXACTLY what I wanted the reader to do, to FEEL, to SEE, to ANTICIPATE! You made my day thanks! Satiate  awww I hope you didn't get lightheaded or anything....like I did after the BLAZER game tonight *sigh*...anyhoo thanks hun!Eric, wanna know my inspiration for this poem? A bookshelf full of old books, and I wanted to write a poem about them! Thanks for your kind comments! James....thanks my intent exactamundo!  Kit, again thanks to you too! I appreciate everyone reading this, look for a sequel soon! ~Heather |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
heather good job on this .. you did indeed manage to create the feel of tension and anticipation. As well as the more obvious device of the bolded words there was from the start a flavour of "preparation" .. everything very meticulous planned down to the last detail. I think that this had the effect of bringing forcefully to the reader's attention the desperation with which the waiting man longs for this to be a successful evening. Consequently we feel with him his anxiety and concern and .. yes .. anticipation .... it all worked very very well heather .. thanks philip |
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