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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2000-06-01 10:33 AM


Actually - I messed up on the topic title - Haleyja had a great deal to do with this poem.  I apologize, Haleyja - I should have given you a lot more credit!


Long John:  Come here, pretty kitty. I've got food for you.
(Come here ya stupid cat.  Why dontcha do what I tell ya to?)

Kitty: Purr, p-u-r-r-r-r-r, meow, hiss, hiss, spit
(I think I'll ratchet Long John just a leetle bit)


Long John: I'll give you lots of gourmet food.  It cost 3 bucks a can
(Stupid cat.  I bet he believes me.  Oh how smart I am!)

Kitty: Meow, meow, purr, purr *rubbing on his wooden leg*
(Another can of tuna fish?!  Oh, puhleeeese give me a break!)


Long John: Aren't you a special kitty!  Let me stroke your silky back.
(You're shedding on me is giving me another allergy attack!)

Kitty: Meowrrr, meow, purr, purr *claws come out to scratch*
(I love it when I can make ol' Long John cough and hack)


Long John: You are so special kitty.  Lorelei loves you oh so much.
(If Lorelei every leaves me, I'm having you for lunch!)

Kitty: Mew, mew, mewwww, mew *crying out in pain*
(I'd love to see Lorelei thump Long John once again)


Lorelei: That's OK, my little kitty.  He won't bother you, my friend.
(I love it when Kitty makes Long John swear he's innocent.)

Long John: But Honey, Honey, I didn't touch a hair on our precious kitty
(You stupid cat, tell her I'm innocent.  Dontcha have an ounce of pity?)

Kitty: Purrr, purrr, purrr *jumping into Lorelei's waiting arms*
(Isn't Long John cute when he's jealous of my charms?)





[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 06-01-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2000-06-01 10:51 AM


Ahem! I should have known... I turn my back on you for just a couple of minutes (okay... weeks... maybe months *G*) and there ya go writing kitty poems again! LOL. Great job, sailor... now behave and play slave to the royal feline. *G*
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2000-06-01 10:52 AM


Oh LngJhn, this is GREAT!! heheh loved it.  

 Je t'aime plus qu'hier et moins que demain."
I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow
(unkown)



LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
3 posted 2000-06-01 11:02 AM


Belle - thank you for your *erk* understanding *cough cough*.  Royal feline... indeed!  Its so nice seeing your post.  Check your mail.

Angel - thanks for the kudos - Naturally, I'm not that way with cats at all (Stupid cats.  They all need a good keel hauling) - lol


[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 06-01-2000).]

Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA
4 posted 2000-06-01 11:17 AM


Good Kitty...story...you could sell this one as a cartoon. Hilarious!  
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
5 posted 2000-06-01 11:20 AM


Thanks, Jana - and may I extend a slightly belated "Welcome aboard"?  *psst, you haven't got any cats in that baggage, do ya???*
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
6 posted 2000-06-01 12:02 PM


Reminds me of the time someone sent me a book entitled, "1000 Things to Do With a Dead Cat."

LOL

Corinne

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2000-06-01 12:07 PM


I loved it!!! I like cats..don't adore them as some do and this made me laugh! Now a dog, a dog would never be so mean spirited.

BTW, what's the cat's name (for the headstone yanno?)  

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
8 posted 2000-06-01 12:17 PM


LngJhnAg, this was just too funny, thanks for running with it. The real thoughts of a cat should be told... how about cat and rat... well maybe not. anyway great job. Oh yes Balladeer deserves all the credit, but thanks anyway

Parker

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
9 posted 2000-06-01 01:01 PM


yanno, dear Ms deVine, your evil twin wasn't so flattering when I wrote that touching story about the little boy and the bag of kittens.  It IS heartening, however, to see you are not like all these other ladies in here who think cats are the cats meow.  It is indeed nice to see a sensible woman once in awhile.  Thanks for your wonderful praises.

Parker - thanks also to you for being so modest about this wonderful story line.  As for cats and rats - there's a difference???

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2000-06-01 02:44 PM


This was great!!  I can tell you really love that kitty, no matter what you say, cause cats are smart and independent and really sweet when they get what they want...dogs are just loyal and loving pals, no matter what.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
11 posted 2000-06-01 03:12 PM


Martie -

It is true.  Every word you say.
I love little kitties (with Hollandaise).

Thanks for the sweet words of encouragement.

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
12 posted 2000-06-01 03:13 PM


Lol...I like this one!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
13 posted 2000-06-01 03:29 PM


thanks, lil Lizzie - if I may be of further entertainment value, please give me some inspiration (like a story line or something).  I'm always willing to please (although I'm not always ABLE to please - just ask Lorelei sometime).
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
14 posted 2000-06-01 05:59 PM


LngJhn,
It's so great having you on the forum. I hope you stick around a while. I am enjoying the entertainment, I should say the little kitty cat's entertainment. He's got personality plusThanks for the laughs, the more of those the better
Love
Liz

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
15 posted 2000-06-01 08:34 PM


back up cause this is really funny, i'm going to have to send you a kitty fur cap, just for doing it. I hope your not allergic....  
Lorelei54
Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458

16 posted 2000-06-01 09:43 PM


well, I am a cat lover, so I have to put my two cents worth in...mind you all, I'd never "allow" the sailor to "touch" a kitty unkindly!!!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
17 posted 2000-06-01 10:58 PM


LongJohn, you could be arrested for felineous assault! You take a tender, touching heart-felt poem of mine and turn it into a..a..a feline fantasy of furry homicide!

In other words....gee, I've missed ya!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
18 posted 2000-06-02 08:26 AM


Liz - thank you very much for your welcome and those compliments - I'm in awe of your talent, and a compliment from you is always cherished.

Parker - Its good to see I do not fight this war alone, that my crusade to expose those furball creating menaces will not go on alone, that cats of the world will someday receive their comeuppance, that...(geesh, I need to get a grip!!!!)

Lorelei - smooch, smooch, smooch, and thanks for this morning's "breakfast", ya little devil.

'Deer - The only thing I regret about this poem is that it might have detracted from the referenced work you did - "Unspoken Words" is a great poem, while this poem is just some fun-loving fluff. (Heh heh heh - setting up 'Deer for more shenanigans.  Ain't I brilliant?  Oh yes, I am!)

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

19 posted 2000-06-02 08:55 AM


this is great wit here...
though the cat lover in me will be keeping and eye on you..LOL
Im looking forward to seeing you and Balladeer and Parker continue this banter...
me thinks it will be most entertaining.
thank you for the kind replies to my work.
Its always nice when an old friend returns here.
later-sailor-gator
jm

By the way...cats have 9 lives...
how many do sailors have?  

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 06-02-2000).]

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
20 posted 2000-06-02 09:08 AM


psst, Janet Marie - this is just between you and me - I actually like cats - but, as a mean old pirate, I gotta keep appearances up.

Perhaps I should stick to that style and write another poem about what Balladeer is REALLY like - whatta ya say?

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

21 posted 2000-06-02 09:14 AM


LOL....
I SAY...LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!! LOL
and Balladeer needs someone to play with--
Sy is on vactation and Toe is missing again LOL
this could get real interesting...
later-pirate-gator
jm

Lorelei54
Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458

22 posted 2000-06-02 09:41 AM


Breakfast? hmmmm...I thought it was more like a "morning delight" hehe...whatever it's called, it was my pleasure filling your soul...
Getting back to old haunts I see?

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
23 posted 2000-06-03 03:48 PM


This was great!  
Ain't cats wunnerful!?!?!?
~Heather

Sigmund Freud
Junior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 38
Come to my couch...
24 posted 2000-06-03 08:01 PM


Well it is very good that I showed up when I did. We have a very bad case here. This is a perfect example of textbook duality complex, showing multiple personality, but It is very rare when one of the personalities is a kitten. I would surmise there is probably An allergy effect contributing to this queer oddity.  Probably due to the consumption of Large amounts of a known pirate aphrodisiac made from the pussy willow tree.
Pirates have been known to use this home made potion, when on long pirate missions
Away from their lady loves in various ports. It causes a euphoria that gives the pirate
A sense of being near the one that he loves. I would then surmise that he misses his
Kitty in this case. Removal of the potion will correct the effect, but the withdrawal
Episodes have left many pet parrots featherless.

Freud

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