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Open Poetry #7
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Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209


0 posted 2000-05-31 06:27 PM


nervous
checking mail
no
wearing down my chair
my keyboard
my nerves
checking mail
yes
reading words
but more
reading you
every vowel and consonant
cherished
every verb and noun
memorized
ingested
swallowed whole
sustenance

sparks fly
from finger tips
as I word
myself
in return
heart and soul
sent
hopes and dreams
flying
cyber express

long distance
starvation
hurting out the
waiting
minutes
hours
more minutes
fading fast
forget the time
needing more
words
hungry
for sustenance
craving for
a reason
to reach
out
of the dark
a reason
to see
to feel
to heal
to need
sustenance



[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 05-31-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
1 posted 2000-05-31 07:37 PM


Whew! Quite the wild ride!  It's amazing how words, mere text across the screen can take on meaning in our lives, to the point of obsession, even!

You have captured this perfectly!

Corinne

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
2 posted 2000-05-31 07:41 PM


I'm glad you posted this sweetheart...because and not Bal's 'because' but because words are so indicative but can be read so many different ways according to the heart...I read your words with my heart..

Bless...sweet dreams

HUSG

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-05-31 09:36 PM


Corazon, what an excellent way to explain how much the nourishment of another's words are so vital to one's health.

Watch out for the adverbs. They're fattening!  

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
4 posted 2000-05-31 11:29 PM


trouble is, words can only sustain for so long... true sustenance of a relationship needs eyes, hands, touch, voice, hearing laughter, seeing smiling, sharing tears

well, let me rephrase this... many beautiful relationships CAN be sustained through words and words are very very powerful and wonderful and deep.... but ... IMO, it's missing something

of course, i'm just a bit lonely tonight for some human companionship and something other than words on a screen

i identified with this poem very much, as usual, corazon... i always seem to identify with your poetry

after i read it, i had to check my email just to see if i could find some sustenance

take care.... doreen

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-06-01 12:17 PM


Another well written piece, Corazon!  

Denise

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
6 posted 2000-06-01 12:30 PM


Yep. This is a familiar feeling.  
Effectively written. I loved it.


 Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"



wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
7 posted 2000-06-01 12:32 PM


thaz me too good job corazon
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
8 posted 2000-06-01 12:53 PM


Corazon, I loved this.... I really know the feeling, been there done that, still do...
I really like the style here.
This is a hunger that needs to be fed....  

Parker

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

9 posted 2000-06-01 09:33 AM


Corinne thanks   wrote this yesterday and posted without much editing, so I went home wondering if the road was driveable…..guess “wild” is good huh? lol  
RainbowGirl yep you are right about words, and how the heart can do its own twists and turns when reading, glad your heart enjoyed  
Balladeer, exactly…you put into one sentence what it took me a whole poem to do   and thanks for the advise on those naughty adverbs (looking at her expanding hips and shaking her head)
doreen peri, I know, I know, I really can’t sustain long distance relationships either, for the same reason, when it gets to the level that poem is written, the next thing I think of is a plane ticket and real arms….sigh….and yep, will be looking at my mail today too  
Denise thanks  
Temptress thanks, glad you liked  
wayoutwalt, thanks, means a lot, I love your poetry  
Parker, thank you, and yes I know, hunger can take over if you let it….whew (wipes her brow while checking mail) lol  

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
10 posted 2000-06-01 10:54 AM


Have to agree with the others.  This was nice writing.  I liked the style you used also. ~~intense~~
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2000-06-01 07:58 PM


Corazon~
Wonderfully done.

'as I word
myself
in return'

I like that idea a lot.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


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