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on the other side of the cover
| Open Poetry #7 |
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on the other side of the cover |
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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
i wrote this about my friend who ran away and my upsetting lack of emotion on the subject. i would love to hear your thoughts on the format; i feel that the enjambment speeds the reading, so it feels like it's all said in one breath, but with rhymes in such random places i've been told it can be hard to get the rhythm. thank you!  7a sunny day on the lawn I learn she is gone I see them before me they can't carry on but to me it's a story thin paper with black ink on the back of the front page behind the rage the wall doesn't crack for I don't throw my stones they miss her alone they feel (abandoned, guilty, lonely) but to me it's not real no, too real for when the world's only place for my heart is apart from the news in the red-white-'n-blue's cover story only facts remain in the light of the sun until one day the pain turns page A-one (over-->) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Paula - All Rights Reserved | |||
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
It is amazing how things on the paper seem somewhat surreal, or just pieces of information, facts and figures...like five people died in a car accident. There is no emotion in the words. anyway I am rambling here, really enjoyed your poem. the last three lines are really effective. until one day the pain turns page A-one (over-->) |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
I really like this one you write The format, style & emotions expressed .. It's great! CocoBaci |
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