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Open Poetry #7
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The Pretender
| Open Poetry #7 |
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The Pretender |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
The PretenderThe handsome woman falls from love again as, low, the shadows marr her moistened cheek His words had fraught her well of inking pen This morning's sonnet song she cannot speak And though she knows there will be many tears She shall not love another in this way for words cannot, in darkness, reappear and syllables, sweet, cannot her heart display So on she moves about her charming life tearstained behind a mask of sweetest silk Beside her lies her cold and sharpest knife Her cup is full but tastes of bitter milk And in the dim and dark'ning hours of night she lies between the supple solemn lace and yearns for words, his lanterns glowing bright to come and lift the mask from off her face  Claire |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This one will haunt all who read it...very well done, Claire... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is exquisite, Claire. Very touching. I saw you mention the other day thay you had never been able to pen a sonnet. Well, since I have seen this, I beg to disagree! You have the rhythm and rhyme scheme evident in this to prove that you can. And sonnets are easier than this one you have written since they are only fourteen lines (the last two being a rhyming couplet). I love this, Claire, very beautiful! Denise |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This has such a wonderful flow and descriptive qualities Claire ... a beautiful poem. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
So touchingly fragile and delicate. Well done, Claire. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Sweet lullabies she to herself does sing, Hoping all this was a dream gone bad, She hopes her lover will come back with a wedding ring, Helping her to be lifted, never to be left sad... Claire, this is a good one, I am enthralled by the way you put across the feelings... particularly the last two lines "and yearns for words, his lanterns glowing bright to come and lift the mask from off her face" Regards, Sudhir In any moment of decision, The best thing you can do is the right thing, The next-best thing is the wrong thing, And the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Meadow, Many wonderful lines, I enjoyed this very much. *L* |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Claire, this is indeed very touching. . . it spoke to my heart. . .delicate and full of yearning and longing. . . "And in the dim and dark'ning hours of night she lies between the supple solemn lace and yearns for words, his lanterns glowing bright to come and lift the mask from off her face" We all yearn for that someone to speak to us the words that we long to hear. . .sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes. . . it takes a lifetime. . . don't stop. . . keep looking. . . Superb. . . ------------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Sunshine, my sincere thanks... Denise, thank you, I may try a sonnet or two eventually.. glad you liked this one though... Kit, many thanks. I don't know if I've had the pleasure or good manners to welcome you to Passions, so please forgive my latecoming. You'll enjoy it here, I think. Martie, thank you, my friend... Sudhir, what a beautiful versed response...thankyou...and glad you enjoyed... Seymour, it is nice to know you found this an enjoyable read...thank you for letting me know... Sven, my friend, you needn't be concerned about me... I understand about lifetimes...  Thank you for reading this ... ~ Claire < !signature--> Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau [This message has been edited by Meadowmuse (edited 05-10-2000).] |
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