navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #7 » Humans will be Humans
Open Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Humans will be Humans Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-05-09 12:45 PM


Roman bathhouse the
blood lies stagnant. Pools.
Red stained pools. On red stained
cities. The human lion’s den,
devouring the meek. We bathed ourselves,
wallowing in blood. Humanities pride and glory,
war paint. Killing in the fields. Killing in our homes.
No rest from human contact.

Years pass martyrs come,
and martyrs go. Humans will be
humans in metropolis burial grounds.
Sidewalk jungles, asphalt coliseums,
Roman minds gone wild. Monuments reach the sky
in honor of ourselves.  The lights
the sounds
hide the decay of human souls.
We’ve built our world on the
skulls of our ancestry.

Humans. Righteous cannibals feeding on
misery .  All for what? For Rome?
For the United States of America?
Society, the Beast.
Communism or democracy?
God? Could all this have been for God?
People slaughter in the name of what, an idea a theory?

There is no reason. We just kill.
Death, birth control of an extreme nature.
Just a sport not yet forgotten.
Blood stained history.
Humans will be humans.




 There is something inside me
and I know it's good,
but understanding is misunderstood.




© Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

1 posted 2000-05-09 01:47 PM


~Whoa,....this was powerful.  Such truth!!!  You have put into words thoughts I have had many a times....well done here.  Great expression.  Love the *punch* it had.
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
2 posted 2000-05-10 02:29 AM


Thanks I'm glad that you liked it.
I'm fond of the little punch also.  

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-05-10 08:00 AM


A gaze into the darkness of human nature, its destructive instinct. It is hard to face the truth especially when it is less than flattering. Powerful and sharp.  
I love the images especially in the first verse and the following lines.  
"Humans. Righteous cannibals feeding on
misery".  

"birth control of an extreme nature"


forne_marin
Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina
4 posted 2004-04-16 12:06 PM


First off, let me suggest an edit of your first line. Currently it's "Roman bathhouse the"--might I suggest "In Roman bathhouses the". Also, in line 6 you have "Humanities" when what you mean is "Humanity's". Second block, first line needs either a comma or a period after "pass". Also, I think replacing "the United States of America" with "the Good Ole US of A" would increase the impact of the piece. Other than that, I think you made your point, but it drones on a bit. It could use some tightning up, maybe cutting a few lines.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #7 » Humans will be Humans

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary