Open Poetry #7 |
Humans will be Humans |
Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Roman bathhouse the blood lies stagnant. Pools. Red stained pools. On red stained cities. The human lion’s den, devouring the meek. We bathed ourselves, wallowing in blood. Humanities pride and glory, war paint. Killing in the fields. Killing in our homes. No rest from human contact. Years pass martyrs come, and martyrs go. Humans will be humans in metropolis burial grounds. Sidewalk jungles, asphalt coliseums, Roman minds gone wild. Monuments reach the sky in honor of ourselves. The lights the sounds hide the decay of human souls. We’ve built our world on the skulls of our ancestry. Humans. Righteous cannibals feeding on misery . All for what? For Rome? For the United States of America? Society, the Beast. Communism or democracy? God? Could all this have been for God? People slaughter in the name of what, an idea a theory? There is no reason. We just kill. Death, birth control of an extreme nature. Just a sport not yet forgotten. Blood stained history. Humans will be humans. There is something inside me and I know it's good, but understanding is misunderstood. |
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© Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved | |||
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Whoa,....this was powerful. Such truth!!! You have put into words thoughts I have had many a times....well done here. Great expression. Love the *punch* it had. |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Thanks I'm glad that you liked it. I'm fond of the little punch also. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
A gaze into the darkness of human nature, its destructive instinct. It is hard to face the truth especially when it is less than flattering. Powerful and sharp. I love the images especially in the first verse and the following lines. "Humans. Righteous cannibals feeding on misery". "birth control of an extreme nature" |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
First off, let me suggest an edit of your first line. Currently it's "Roman bathhouse the"--might I suggest "In Roman bathhouses the". Also, in line 6 you have "Humanities" when what you mean is "Humanity's". Second block, first line needs either a comma or a period after "pass". Also, I think replacing "the United States of America" with "the Good Ole US of A" would increase the impact of the piece. Other than that, I think you made your point, but it drones on a bit. It could use some tightning up, maybe cutting a few lines. |
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