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Open Poetry #7
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My silent please
| Open Poetry #7 |
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My silent please |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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My silent please The night was filled with fire flies With visions cloud and misty eyes. The moon hung low and half as bright. The stars were almost out of sight. The scent of jasmine mocked the air And haunts my mind with memories glare. This perfume with its lovers flaunt, Aroma of my spirits taunt. I stare into the heedless night, The fire flies and stars faint light. And swear at Cupid and his bow, That struck my heart so long ago. A thousand things twixt here and dare. A thousand cuts to clear the air. A thousand rules beyond declare A thousand doors with tigers there. My wishes yearn and gorge the breeze So loud, I hear the silent please. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Seymour, This is a fine piece of work, really enjoyed it. Regards, Sudhir Take each day as it comes, Consider each day as a flight, Try hard to succeed and fly, Surely then you will reach some height. But if by some chance you don’t, Remember that tomorrow will always come. Learn this well and learn this hard That today’s efforts will pay for tomorrow’s fun. A Crazy Monster, a.k.a Ski |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is a wonderful play on words...loved it! Truly! |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Sometimes wihin the most quiet beseeching falls the most urgent need. Wonderful writing, Seymour. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy, this is excellent! In the night with jasmine's flair your heart this longing must declare and the gates so firmly closed open and breathe your sigh of love |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I stare into the heedless night, The fire flies and stars faint light. And swear at Cupid and his bow, That struck my heart so long ago. A thousand things twixt here and dare. A thousand cuts to clear the air. A thousand rules beyond declare A thousand doors with tigers there. My wishes yearn and gorge the breeze So loud, I hear the silent please. ----------------- **** listen now... for soft whispers in the breeze. In between the silence ... hear the sighs this poem evokes with ease. **** Sy this is exquisite...truly... the imagery is of perfection, and the emotions are fragile and tender. and as always...I love when you write like this...  beautiful and breath taking *sigh* the reason poerty was created. take care, jm |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sudhir lyer, Thank you so much for the fine comment. Sunshine, Thank you sweet. *L* Claire, You are so right. *L* Martie, Thank you for the lovely poetic stanza. *L* |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Sy, Amazing piece of poetry you got here. Should make all the ladies swoon...lol no seriously it is a great poem All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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A.C.Turner Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 83Reading, Pa.Home of Bardfest |
Great piece. I like the images and wording. Love the title. Peace ACT. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Sy, I've got to admit, you are outdoing me in the rhyme and meter arena As for the the way you put words together, no one can match it. This is THE BEST. An absolutely superb poem. You only get better with each piece you write (impossible!) Love ya LIz |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Seymour: This is absolutely lovely... your poems keep getting better and better! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Enjoyed the read, Sy |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Janet, Beautiful response, thank you. *L* Jeffrey, Thank you Jeff. A.C. Turner, Thank you for the great comment. Elizabeth, you are a doll and I thank you for the wonderful review. Love Sy Sunshine, Thank you for the lovely. *L* Balladeer, I enjoyed your enjoy. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
love this, the ending just makes you want to close your eyes and envision.....sigh |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh, Sy! I loved that first verse..then I loved the second..by the time I was done, I couldn't tell what I liked best...this is a great poem sir!  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Corazon, What a wonderful comment, thank you. Poet deVine, You have set my heart a twitter With your commentary glitter. *L* Sy |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Nicely done Sy. I don't think you'll have to worry about flying unless of course you fall off the clouds If I could paint a portrait, of this life in which I've led, and somehow sketch a story, of the visions in my head, I'd start out with a canvas, stretched tightly in a frame, and in the bottom corner, I'd leave room to sign my name. (Michelle A. Bartley) |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ When we hear the 'silent' whispers ... we know another heart thinks of us. 'The scent of jasmine mocked the air And haunts my mind with memories glare. This perfume with its lovers flaunt, Aroma of my spirits taunt.' The night-blooming jasmine is sweetly wafting through your thoughts. I greatly enjoyed you sharing this with me. Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh Sey...I love the romantic longing that pours out of this...it's exquisite and sweet. And I had to chuckle when you swore at Cupid! That gave it a slight scent of agony! hehe And I just LOVE fire flies, so I was delighted that that's how it started! Heck, I just loved the whole poem, and the simple yet delicate rhyme you used is one of my favorite schemes! What more can I say!! Bravo sir!  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Lucky, Nice comment, thank you. Marge, Your answers are like jasmine. *L* Pff, wonderful comment, thanks for the bravo. *L* |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Sy, Went back and reread this one, it certainly deserves another look. It is simply exquisite Liz |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ I agree with Lizzie. Thanks, girlfriend ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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