»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #7
»
your voice could wake the dead
| Open Poetry #7 |
|
your voice could wake the dead |
|
|
Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
|
your voice could wake the dead I know because I meticulously did away with (and buried deep) the memories of your kisses soft touches sweet embraces electric I refused life to the sound of your laughter and I killed the memory of the soft moans and sighs escaping from my lips when we were one and now one ring ring hello I still love you, you know? has awakened the dead in me I just wish I could teach my body not to believe your lies. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
 Isn't it a difficult thing to teach something so stubborn? Great poem you have here. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
||
|
hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Corazon - this is fantastic! I can really relate to it. I once had a very painful breakup with a woman. We both agreed that, for us, being "just friends" was out of the question, and we needed to move on with our lives. But, each time I would start to heal, she would call me up and reopen the wounds. Ironically, the song that is playing on the radio as I write this is "I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor - and I'm sure that you will, but sometimes people can make it difficult! {{{HUGS}}}  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
||
|
Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
A very deep theme, very well written. You take me there, and break my heart with your emotions, and lost love. Excellently done. A marvelous title - I couldn't imagine what in the world ... until I read the poem. Oh, that stopped me short. Yes, a perfect title. |
||
|
Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thank you so much, am glad you enjoyed...now if only the phone call weren't real and he didn't have such an effect on me....lol....oh well...I will just *write* him out of me *g* that's one gift we poets share that I really appreciate |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is good writing Corazon..I have been experiencing this and I found that as time went by and I met new friends when the phone would ring I was hoping it was one of my new friends and not her...they became more important to me and she became and intrusion...now if she calls I think to myself...oh no...not her again....in the real world they will go away when they figure out you don't want to play...James |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
APPLAUDS!!! This is an excellent piece of writing, it's amazing what memories a persons voice, a smell, a sight...can bring back |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I was prepared to argue with the title... thinking you were sneaking in a chance to malign my melodious tones jes cuz I wasn't around to threaten you with my baseball bat. LOL But your poem sent my argument flying... and I sit nodding in agreement and joining Hoot in her applause. *S* Great job! |
||
|
Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Corazon, I can relate heavily to this one...excellent writing! Yes, it's common, and banal, but all the more striking and powerful. Such are the best poems..those that can evoke such emotions and memories from things we've all done or been through...such is often overlooked, and I'm very glad you could capture the thought and pen it. Alicat |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very well done, Corazon! Your poems always so clearly speak your emotions. Denise |
||
|
bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
C~ Your poem is well written. I wonder if you might consider a diff. title though? (Just a suggestion) Waking the dead usually implies a loud voice/noise and maybe a title like "Ring, Ring, Hello?" might work better? Anyway, I liked it. best regards, bboog |
||
|
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I'd prefer an alarm clock..... too bad Corazon... those voices from the past are better left..... |
||
|
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
I know of what you write...and Rebel's right, but that doesn't stop the memories from invading... Very nice job in describing the attempt to bury longings and emotions that seem to have a life all their own. warmhrt the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Corazon~ The title led me in ... the parallel is that we've all known that 'voice' that awakened what we thought was 'dead'. A wonderfully expressed piece of emotion. Perfect as it stands ... title and content. You've a wonderful knack of pulling the reader into your emotions ... worked for me. ~*Marge*~ LOL @ 'write him out of me'. ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
||
|
devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
You've done wonderful with this hun...I'm quite breathless now!!! I've been through this too many times to count girl...your body will ALWAYS betray your mind..  You just take care of you when that phone rings!!!Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
||
|
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
HI Corazon, I just posted a poem on this same subject. I truly know your pain. All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
||
|
SeaDragon Junior Member
since 1999-12-11
Posts 11 |
The title makes it perfect. Electric touches shocking back to awake and hurt, even if the touch is only the hammer against your eardrum. Every word was once a poem ~ Emerson |
||
|
PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Boy!!!! Can I relate to this!! Had a boyfriend once who really grated me with his "voice". Great poem Corazon! Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
||
|
Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
jmlee12345 thanks and yep time and new experiences make it easier to say no bowing to the applause of my two ruths…you don't know how much that means to me coming from you two but……………..ROFG@maligning my melodious tones ………….*very very innocent look* who me? Alicat thank you, its amazing just how many different memories this did evoke….thanks again dsnyder thanks denise, I have trouble writing about anything else than emotions, so am glad at least they come through clear bboog thanks for the comments, but no, intended the title to be a bit shocking to describe the feeling of the phone call… Local Rebel yep…I think so too…guess I was just rattled for a bit, forgot that even insincere "ghosts" can use the phone warmhrt I like the way you said they "invade" and yes I agree with rebel too, better in the past…thanks Marge thanks, your opinion stands highly with me am glad you liked devina thanks much and yep, I am learning to take care of me….Jeffrey thank you, will look for your poem…and yes, it seems many here know that pain…sigh SeaDragon thank you, and yes that is why I chose that title too WildChild thanks shawna… I wish I could hug each and everyone who could relate so strongly…it is not fun, but am glad you all enjoyed the read |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
AWESOME. |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
dont you know I know this well |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
