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Open Poetry #7
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I am(A little belated and rather dark-beware)
| Open Poetry #7 |
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I am(A little belated and rather dark-beware) |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
I am forged of emptiness and depression I wonder if my life is an illusion I hear others whispering my name I see others bringing me shame I want to end my eternal exclusion I am forged of emptiness and depression I pretend to be accepted by my peers I feel the rejection feeding my fears I touch redemption upon the blade I worry that my few friends will fade I cry not, for I lack real emotion I am forged of emptiness and depression I understand the pain will never end I say I'm my own best friend I dream of standing all alone I try to make my sorrow known I hope others will heed my confession I am forged of emptiness and depression |
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| © Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Mistikman...yeah, this one is very dark, somber and depressing...but it shows the will to be, to thrive, to break out of the self-made prison. And you will, when you are ready. I thank you for answering this challenge, and for letting all of us get to know you just a little bit better. And, it's never to late to make new friends. Alicat |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Hi mistikman -- It's a pleasure to meet you -- What a well written poem -- a little sad perhaps -----but that glitter of hope still sneaks through ---) netswan |
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
Everyone has darkness as well as light within them, I see this poem as your acknowledgement of that side of you. I hope that it doesnt mean that you always feel isolated and alone however, as to truly feel this way constantly is a terrible thing. Besides, look around, there's always plenty of people here ready to reach out a hand of friendship to you if you so choose  "Love is the only drug you can take that will convince you each time that you've never had it before." ~author unknown~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is exceptional. But I think my friend that you forget your sense of humor..your ability to love..you have those too...  |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Your writing gets better at each read....I truly see greatness forming here. Loved the read Mistik A man does not love a woman because she is beautiful...But she is beautiful because he loves her. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I cry not, for I lack real emotion I am forged of emptiness and depression I understand the pain will never end I say I'm my own best friend I dream of standing all alone I try to make my sorrow known I hope others will heed my confession I am forged of emptiness and depression --------------------- this is exceptional writing here... your bared soul honesty here is most impressive. you went deep for this.... I am touched by this... and could relate to many lines of it... it does get better, I promise... once we learn to believe in and respect ourselves... others will do the same. your are an exceptional writer... draw strength from that. (dont mean to impose or lecture)... your poem evokes emotion.(smile) ~as always, Take Care,JM~ -------------- I know it's been a long road To get these towns behind me and I Will gladly reap what we may sow-- I am there for you ... and you're there for me ... Are you waiting for Heart in hand Woman and man See me where I stand I am Heart Heart in hand ~vertical horizon~ |
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bobbycat Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233USA |
It takes great strength and courage to allow others to see this deeply inside your soul. You have that strength within you, and you have many friends here that are more than willing to let you know that. Thanks for sharing a little piece of you with us. Bobbycat =^..^= |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Mistik, this is a very good poem, dispite the darkness. Thank you for sharing it. Oh yes, you said that you understand the pain will never end... it does end, my friend. Very few things last forever, and pain is not one of them. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
this was very superbly done istik thanx for the read you will find happiness trite me says but you will grab hold of it |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Alicat- Self-made, maybe, but definately not intentional, thanks for the reply. netswan- really? where Thanks for the reply.Tess- Well, the dark side of me is far more profound than my light side. The feelings will likely last for my entire life, as it is a result of a chemical imbalance I inherited from my father and his mother before him. Thanks for replying Poet deVine- My sense of humor rarely surfaces outside of the internet, and my ability to love has only manifested itself once that I can remember, and it only stings more because the target of that love rejected me. Thanks for replying First__Knight- I still have a long way to go, thanks for the encouragement Janet Marie- If you enjoyed the baring of my soul here, you should read some of my other stuff, this is a common theme in my poetry. Thanks for responding bobbycat- Heh, emotional strength is one thing I seem to have no lack of. I havent broken down or lost my head over something for about 5 years. Thanks for replying. LoveBug- despite the darkness? I happen to thing that the darkness is what makes lots of poetry as good as it is. To each their own I guess. About the pain not ending, unless you are one of us special people who suffer from chronic depression, then I guess the pain does end, but for me and many others, that isnt really the case, the best I can do is learn to live with it.wayoutwalt- The only way I can see finding happiness is with some form of medication, but thanks for the support |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
yep I understand...the hurt in me writes much better poetry than the smiles in me...great writing though....you really held this together and came up with a great piece |
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