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Cold Upon a Suburban Night
| Corner Pub #2 |
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Cold Upon a Suburban Night |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
Cold upon a suburban night I wandered through the cold I took two lefts and then a right To watch the woods unfold I stepped upon the treelined fringe And listened for a time For all the trees did crack and cringe A tune too fit for rhyme A break, this was, from busy streets The clutter and the noise All lulled away with wooden beats That all the land enjoys The parking lots and minivans Filled to capacity Recycling bins and garbage cans Suburban audacity I stepped inside the wooden shore To please my wanton ear Suburban life I want no more The woods, they want me here |
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| © Copyright 2002 Wobbly Head Bob - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
This is very rhytmic. and I agree the woods sound more enticing. Joyce |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I enjoyed this Bob! Very rythmic! |
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pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
nicely done Bob.. really like the way it flows. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Bob: Being a country dweller, with access to woods, I totally agree with your decision. I love the woods at any time of year.............well, perhaps not so much right now when snow is shin deep! I really enjoyed the poem! Betty Lou Hebert |
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Jonas Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796Oregon |
"Suburban audacity" I love that phrase! There is nothing more relaxing than escaping the chaos for a little one on one time with nature. |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
Thanks to you all!!! I enjoyed writing this one just needing time to relax and think. I think the first line should've been Once upon a suburban night...I didn't realize the word "cold" sounds redundant being used twice within two lines. But thanks you guys for the praise! |
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leafseranade Member
since 2001-07-06
Posts 118Wisconsin, USA |
Cold upon a suburban night I wandered through the cold I took two lefts and then a right To watch the woods unfold Really like that verse. It sounds like this flowed right out of you onto the page or screen. It happens for me sometimes that way. I'm glad you got to relax from writing this. Poetry certainly is great for that. |
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