Midnight Strolls - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

zt88
Junior Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 11

0 posted 2006-05-01 12:09 PM

I remember like it was yesterday
Silent walks with the moon so grey
My bond with the stars would leave
me at peace...
Watching them shower with pavement at feet

Around midnight I would make my way
Past two trees, alongside a fence to the end
of our gate

Step by step I would speculate
On anything I wish or merely my day
My time to consider, my time to dream
All under a sky so lit and serene

Faint buzzing of lamps attached to poles
Such a familiar sound imbedded in my soul
From side to side they offered gentle light
yet left clear view for the starry night

So as all good things must come to an end,
So must my walks and until again…
I shall live my life tomorrow in full concentration,
Ready again to be engrossed in a sky of constellations!

As with all my poems, I write about things which I have experienced or know...I feel this is a good one, but I am not sure of the last stanza. My other stanzas sound past tense, but the last is more present...Is this so big of a deal where I might want to consider a new last stanza? Thanks. ZT.

[This message has been edited by zt88 (05-02-2006 05:13 PM).]

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

1 posted 2006-05-01 12:41 PM

No I think it is fine. The last stanza brings your situation into the present and summarizes. Love, Joyce

midnightblues
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 1597
Singapore

2 posted 2006-05-02 10:58 AM

It is just fine, beautiful piece of work

Love,
MiCheLLe

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues

zt88
Junior Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 11

3 posted 2006-05-02 05:15 PM

Thank you, Midnightblues...

That means alot. ZT.

Fabiani
Member

since 2006-05-12

Posts 123
Mesa, Az

4 posted 2006-05-13 09:31 PM

I thought i was the only one to talk midnight walks Ive actully also written Poems about it i posted them already now i feel liek im coping you haha but yea i kno hwo it feels to contimplate under the stars and the moon

picturegramic
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 112

5 posted 2006-05-22 12:45 PM

I actually liked the last stanza. I thought it was fine to be past and present!

An enjoyable read and can I say been there done that! thanks for sharing.

picturegramic :)

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.