Corner Pub #2 |
Card Games |
Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
It was a house of cards That we lived in Starting with a stacked deck You were the dealer And the player Ante up, for all games I was the Queen of Hearts Until you proved it was Just another illusion When the house crumbled Fell in the winds of life I was the last card standing A joker, one that didn't belong Not in the games with you Not in the way you played On another table A new house is carefully built With another stacked deck You, the King of Spades She, the Queen of Hearts Neither seeing the Jack of Diamonds Who's been counting the cards Learning your games And will breath that last breath To shatter your new house, And leave you standing As the last unwanted card The one that doesn't belong The second joker of the deck That is discarded. Your time is here. Take one last look at it, then never come back. This part of your life is already over... |
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© Copyright 2004 Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
PKreturns Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362New Orleans, LA |
Great use of metaphor. I think this was nice to read. |
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junemac Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005uk |
Yes great metaphor indeed. It was scary and sad too. Enjoyed this one. Hugs June x |
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PatAngel Member
since 2004-04-05
Posts 451California |
I also agree, this was a great metaphor! I enjoyed this. Patricia 'When you find a dream within your heart, don't ever let it go. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Well done and interesting slant. Joyce |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
cool layout bwa , happy i had a chance to read it .... - wolf |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
Excellent choice of metaphor and you executed it throughout the poem. Nicely done. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow...good write, though sad |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
BrokenWingedOne~ This is truly a stirring piece~ I like the play of the hand~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Thank you for all of the replies. I guess that means I shouldn't judge my own work? And I've no clue where the metaphor came from...just sat down thinking on an old relationship and out came the cards. :- Thank you again Your time is here. Take one last look at it, then never come back. This part of your life is already over... |
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Solstice Son Member
since 2000-09-19
Posts 469 |
good to see you still alive gg Sol - kiss - - hug - " and I dream of her always, |
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Annie78 Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 469here then there then back here |
another triumph...states exactly what I would now like to see so that just once he might understand the pain. Annie |
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