Unanswered Question - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Corner Pub #2

Unanswered Question

peaceful_dreamer
Member

since 2003-04-25

Posts 159
SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW

0 posted 2004-07-24 02:03 AM

I try to show you that I love you
But it never comes across,
I try to reveal the way I feel,
But all the right words are lost.
Is it my destiny to love you,
Is it meant to be this way?
I try to answer honestly
By my honesty has decayed.

**I have two problems with this. First, I don't really like the title, and second, I'm sure if I should make it longer. Any ideas?**

"I'm just me, trapped in a body."

-peaceful_dreamer

[This message has been edited by peaceful_dreamer (07-24-2004 03:01 PM).]

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

1 posted 2004-07-25 03:03 AM

Lengthwise,,it's just right,,,,,all need be said and felt is there,,,as for the title,,,it works,,,but,,,maybe something like,,,,"Tainted Honesty",,,or "Self Doubt"...?

To be held, is all I ask......

junemac
Senior Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 1005
uk

2 posted 2004-07-25 08:16 AM

A great poem and yes the length is fine, the title I agree may be better with something more specific.

A question of honesy? I dont know maybe something like that.
Hugs June x

PatAngel
Member

since 2004-04-05

Posts 451
California

3 posted 2004-07-25 10:45 AM

A great poem! I think "Honesty" would be an appropriate title for this.

Love,
Patricia

'When you find a dream within your heart, don't ever let it go.
For dreams are the tiny seeds from which tomorrow grows.'

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.