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junemac
Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005
uk

0 posted 2003-11-22 03:33 AM





Fly


Sugared crumbs you fed to me
Just enough to tempt me with
Enough to keep me hungry then
Begging to soothe the pain

Imprisoned in a cage of trust
All built from imagination
I handed you the only key
Tossing my pride away


You never let me fly again
Binding my wings with love
Freedom was the price i paid
Leaving my life behind


It grew so cold inside my cage
Lonliness a shadow companion
Affection starved,my spirit failed
Shivering and dying

Whistle again your sweet love song
Tempting a new lady bird
Let her feathers brush you as she flies
Learning to love at last

© Copyright 2003 june macfarlane - All Rights Reserved
cusick
Senior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 668

1 posted 2003-11-22 09:11 AM


This sounds like you are trapped in a marriage that has gron cols. Great read. Maggie
Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2003-11-22 11:58 AM


June,  Well done.  Love should not be caged.  Love, Joyce
Sparticus
Member
since 2003-11-15
Posts 245

3 posted 2003-11-23 12:32 PM


This one really does ache.  To me, the best advice I can give anyone is to seek inside to see if you can write this even better.  A poem is a living thing, as long as the author is also.  Poems change and grow as the author does as well.


Sparticus

Even with insects-
some can sing
some can't

-Issa

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
4 posted 2003-11-23 01:38 PM


junemac;  This makes one ache for the person trapped!  I hope it isn't you!

Trillium

Betty Lou Hebert

junemac
Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005
uk
5 posted 2003-11-24 03:25 AM


Dear Betty, Sparticus, Joyce and Cusick,

thank you for your kind thoughts and comments on this one. I agree with sparticus this one needs a little more work. I tend to work on my poetry when the flow of my muse is broken and i will re think this one soon.
hugs june x

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2003-11-26 07:26 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh June, my heart goes out to you, dearest friend, believe you can fly with all your heart and faith will carry you away with its second wind! (sigh) You have the grace, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet June, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Insomniac Cat
Member
since 2003-09-23
Posts 69
The Land of the Dadaists
7 posted 2003-12-01 07:21 PM


This poem is disturbing to me, which is a good thing, to be moved by the work. It's a sad piece, but brimming with honesty and raw emotion.  
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