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| Corner Pub #2 |
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Koko's Rhythm New Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 4NJ, USA |
hello... thanks for reading this (if you continue to the poem that is...) I like getting comments saying what people like, but I find that it's more important to find out what isn't working. So... feel free to be brutal as well as kind. thank you -ryan Beckman SASE Sunnyside eyelids, up around noon- mixed with last night’s sensual cooking. Don’t play with your food, although, the Gingerbread man didn’t seem to mind. Gummy bears Hollow rabbits Animal crackers beheaded because anything less gruesome would be uncivilized. Ingestion indicates tongue turned envelope with self-sealing saliva folding back down, letting acid run names past your voice box into the pit. Wipe the remainder with clotted tissues to be folded & mailed in the morning. |
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| © Copyright 2003 ryan Beckman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Welcome to Passions Ryan... Much enjoyed your first post. Please check your email for a special greeting. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Welcome to our corner. I'm not sure what your're saying, butyou're saying it well. Joyce |
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midnightblues Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 1597Singapore |
Errr i, too, like Joyce, don't really get what u're saying, but welcome!! Love Michelle If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™ |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
would you mind explaining to me what you mean? Welcome! I'm sure you will find a place here, to stay and to love. Eliza Simmons |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Welcome...enjoyed your words... believe in what your heart feels... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
KoKo~ I don't do much open critiquing, so I'll just say Welcome to the Corner Pub~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Most interesting write, well presented but a little bit of a puzzler - clues please. |
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Koko's Rhythm New Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 4NJ, USA |
Hello... first off I’d like to thank everyone for being so kind & open. It’s a really friendly atmosphere and that’s pretty cool. Aside from that... I won't really go too much into it with this particular poem... but in the future I’ll give little hints about the subject. I’m all over when it comes to “style” and some of my poems are metaphors about previous versions of the same poem so there would literally be no way for the reader to know what specifially I’m talking about… and others are very straight forward… I just try to vary as much as I can… or feel. Sometimes I try to keep myself from engaging the topic too much and ostracizing the reader who would have been able to relate on the "core" emotional level, but can't because of the examples/images/subject I use. At times it works surprisingly well... other times not so much. I always want the reader to "get" what I’m saying... I have the mindset that any interpretation is right, as long as it's what the person got from it and not something they're saying because it's what I meant. I don’t know… everyone’s take on poems/poetry is so different… it’s weird… but also the greatest thing. |
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