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Open Poetry #8
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in the belly of the whale
| Open Poetry #8 |
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in the belly of the whale |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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did a whale swallow you whole and your name is really jonah and I just didn’t know and will you be back from the belly of the place that took you from me in three days? cause if that is all that I can easily do three days waiting is a piece of cake it is this not knowing that is killing me not knowing if you are lost and floating needing a lifesaver not knowing if you lay on some deserted beach waiting for mouth to mouth resuscitation? oh, please, let me... three days and more gladly I would wait if only I knew... [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
i don't know, if you are mocking the whale bit or are you mocking yourself for waiting three days believing in the whale of a story.... or am i just being a crank... gosh, this sparkled a bit grey matter here... regards, sudhir Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
no, no mocking meant here, just lost and floundering myself, missing a friend that seems to have disappeared ...hope I didn't offend [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-27-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
no not at all... seemed interesting actually, how come I never conjure up something like this... how come I always end up with straight poems that rhyme and all that.. why is free verse not coming naturally to me...it should be natural should it not??? well, Corazon, thanks to help me out with this one.... Regards, sudhir. Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
maybe it is a bit of everything, my life is so mixed up, my thoughts so random that free style is the only poetry that comes to me, I just can't write structure and rhyme, (to me) you seem more in control, more thought filled, and your poetry shows the care that you put into it, my poetry creates itself and spills onto the page...lately that has been showing too...have been floundering in my poetry too...appreciate your comments  so you think the original title was ok, or is this one better? I changed it after your comments, as I had not even thought of it being offensive...but certainly didn't want to be [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-28-2000).] |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I understand this piece so very well, the not knowing is the hardest...anything else I can handle but dealing with the unkown is the worst. I see I'm not alone in this feeling. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
where are ya? |
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