Open Poetry #8 |
Forgotten Soldiers |
peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
I don't normally post in this forum due to the incredible nature of the work here...mine simply can't compare. However, I'm just a kid looking for some constructive criticism on how to improve my writing. :.) Thanks a bunch! Vreni Forgotten Soldiers In the fields they lie, in their graves Valiantly they fought, atrocities braved In sparse memories their images appear Though they smelled blood, knew true fear. They are forgotten, they are the dead Those with cries unheard, words unsaid. Patriotically they sacrificed for the Ideal The weary rest now, the wounds have healed Posthumously toward eternity they now file No longer enemies to combat, to out-wile. But they are forgotten, they are the dead The public moves on, sees the survivors instead. They watched comrades fall, heard battle cries Saw their enemies, and looked them in the eye Seasoned soldiers, and those that were boys Indiscriminate by nature does death destroy But they are forgotten, they are the dead They are those of whom you've never read. No honors or medals hang from their chests No victory cheers can erupt from their breast They perished for our nation, their chance forsaken To return to their homes, in their beds awaken. But they are forgotten, they are the dead. Remember them now, cry their tears unshed. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Vreni, I know they are not forgotten by there mothers and fathers, the wifes and the lovers, their children and all those that loved them. I have three sons and I hope to God that they never have to experience the sorrow of war...in many cases it is teenagers and young men in their early twenties who are called to fight and die. Excellent writing...I only have good words for you...if you are looking for criticism I suggest you post in Critical Analysis. James |
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