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Open Poetry #8
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Would That I Could (reworked)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Would That I Could (reworked) |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA 
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Would that I could, be the man you think me to be. He of pathos and logos, he of eternal vision and fathomless depth. Would that I could, expose the inner soul. Caged in this granite effigy, with little fear, of being touched deeply. Would that I could, cease my spewing insecurity. Its constant pollution, poisoning the world about us, with vunerable distrust. Would that I could, expose this wretched heart, to the wonder that is you, and learn to love myself, as you have loved me. Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway " |
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| © Copyright 2000 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Very good poem I liked it alot  |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Thanks Whiskey! That lone pat on the back feels wonderful!  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. - JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmi |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
excellent... this is very well written out you've expressed these emotions in a very cool poem... we all feel these insecurities at times the last two lines are perfect. take care, jm |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
would that I could...*sigh* good'un JP ~H |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah JP, would that I could look into your eyes and see the insecurities sweep away and the man emerge as he would beside my side stay... would that I could be the one of your dreams in day's light, night's moonbeam, and be the wind beneath your wing, just to hear your soul sing, would that I could. I don't know when the words are just art, or the artist, but whichever, you do it quite well...< !signature--> Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 06-25-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This poem is the reason we know you are a sensitive soul....I like it very much.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Would that you could? I think you just did. This is really nice, and I relate very well to the sad remorse...very well done, JP... |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
JP, Great poem here. You have expressed yourself very well. LW Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Thanks y'all, I really appreciate the comments  Hey Sunshine, it seems to me that you have been paying attention to some discussions around here regarding poetry for poetry's sake and poetry as a cathartic device... "I don't know when the words are just art, or the artist, but whichever, you do it quite well.."  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yes JP: in 20 years, I want to look back on work and see if "dreamed dreams" came true; if "that was really me?" is a question in anyone's mind; "did I live through that...?" is a thought; and finally, "was I really THAT good?" Yes, THIS piece is THAT good... Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Very nice...interesting questions..... You have my vote...... Julie :) |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
JP, a well written introspective piece, to my way of thinking. So often the very qualities that we are loved for seem quite beyond our reach, in our own perception. This is quite superb. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
well written!! Liked it alot. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Powerful and honest as always. Did I ever say I love your work? Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thoughtful and thought provoking. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I always enjoy your work JP, and this is no exception. Welcome back! (albeit a teeny-tiny-tad late  ) |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Love the message in this and the way you've expressed it...good job Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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