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Open Poetry #8
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if I could change one thing ? - Isis Challenge
| Open Poetry #8 |
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if I could change one thing ? - Isis Challenge |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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If You Could Change Just One Thing in the world what would it be? - Isis Challenge. here is my response, this just sort of flowed out. I know it said change one thing, and re-reading the poem it seems like I want to change everything lol but the one thing I want to change is human nature. --------------------------------------- Cease-fire. I was born weak, the victim stereotype, Conflict in destiny always the defeated in war. I am a pacifist, never searched to be bruised, I shaped up my world but it seems that gentle souls attract agony. Is this the way of the world? Is this way of a sadist God? Immersed in a field of flowers, each soul is a gentle petal, Swaying in the breeze preserved eternally in Utopia. Childish innocence nurtured to old age, that first gentle smile everlasting. No violence to fear, or nightmares to claim, waking into a blissful dream. The bruised apple is quickly devoured by carrion Pestilence rains down in acidic rains, AIDS, Heroin germs pierce our virtuous love. Poverty inflicted, famine demanded a thousand tragedies a thousand fold feed the public conscience connect to the apocalypse killing field is on the TV screen. A capitalist church Jesus speaks hard currency. Buy or sell Heaven, real estate this ghetto hell. A life hangs in the balance, on a delicate thread. We are all prey in waiting for the bullets, walking dead. Can't wash the stench of decay from my skin. So I dream, and pray to higher powers to end the reign of the human God, and sedate the fools crazed on their own power. to pacify the governments that are dragging us into the abyss and return us to Eden in an age of innocence. I babble this prayer aware of the futility, for there is no salvation, no clarity in this asylum of insanity. corruption taints the babies breath, a cancerous hold upon us. Man survives for conflict and war unable to comprehend tranquillity, without hatred we would die in listlessness. < !signature--> ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 06-11-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I shaped up my world but it seems that gentle souls attract agony. -------------- Immersed in a field of flowers, each soul is a gentle petal, Swaying in the breeze preserved eternally in Utopia. Childish innocence nurtured to old age, that first gentle smile everlasting. No violence to fear, or nightmares to claim, waking into a blissful dream. -------------- it does not surprise me that you would take on such a huge effort to wish to change. you write some dark images and stark contrasts in this one Bri, and as always you take the thoughts to a higher level...making us think, challenging us. many truths in this wish my friend. superb depth as always later-genuis gator evegator And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
If anybody could, it's you Brian...you could change anything with your words. Beautiful poem. Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Brian,...I believe you've said it all in this one. I so agree with you. I could never imagine writing anything as wonderfully as you do,...I envy your talent. Your ability to capture and your deep wisdom of things. Bravo on this one and all that you do. Take care. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Brian~ This was Awesome!! In your intro it sounded like this was going to be a listing of things that only you wanted....but as I read you echo the dreams of many, though not a deeply and strongly as you have. An excellent read!! Thank you for responding to this Challenge you did a great job!! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is one one of the few poems I reserve the phrase "absolutely brilliant" for...and the last two lines say it all. I salute you, sir. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
My God Brian this was amazing!!! What a wonderful idea/dream!! BUT you are a naughty man and should have posted in challenge, I'd have moved it to open later if you'd wanted!! Still being such a special poem it deserves the recognition open can give it. Great work, I too salute you on this one hon  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Brian~ This was an absolutely wonderful piece you have written. I read this with admiration for you and I think your way of thinking perfect. great piece Brian Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
That was the most powerful piece that I have read in a very long time. You have captured the hope and promise and the darkest cancers of humanity. I kneel before you! Wonderful, Brian, just wonderful. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Jan, I guess it's my God complex, wanting to scrap everything and start again lol Thank you for your wonderful reply, your responses and thoughts mean a lot to me. Lizzie, I wish I could change things with my words but I don't if they would be the problems with the world, it is hard to stay true and humble in the face of power, I would probably serve some of my own interests first. Thanks for your wonderful response. SpitFire… I have read your poetry and it damn powerful, your words amaze me, honestly. It is only our writing styles that are different. You are a very talented poet, your poem "Difficult Position" was an absolutely stunning poem. Thank you for reading and for your wonderful response. Butterflies_dont_cry thank for your wonderful reply. Some times I feel as though we are powerless over grand our fate, over the injustices in the world. Where is Superman when you need him? Balladeer, " absolutely brilliant" I am blushing here… but thank you very so much for those words and for your wonderful reply. Isis, ah us Irish people always play acting, of course you are right. I should have posted it in the challenge forum, but in my haste I forget. Thank you for your wonderful response. Tracie, thank you for your kind words and your wonderful response. Trew Rise I will have no one kneel in my praise, I might start thinking I am God if people kneel before me. LOL . Humanity and human nature has always been an obsession of mine. Thank you for wonderful reply. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Brian, I read the challenge, and then came straight here to see what you had done. I would have to say that you have written a very powerful and deep poem. Hey world, let's start again....wipe the slate clean, shake the dust off, dry the eyes, heal the hearts, mend broken humanity, and step back to paradise. sigh..if only. Linda M. |
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